I was on the phone with one of my best friends this week who is having some struggles. He feels lost and asked me straight out; "Dude, what should I do next?"
My suggestion to him; "You need clear the rubble, like I'm doing."
Two years ago, I got out of a terrible relationship where I was lost over the course of many years. I was working but not fully functioning. Since then, moved twice, began reconnecting with some wonderful people, strengthened my close relationships, worked on me harder than I have in my entire life, and began exploring some really cool new avenues for my work. One is happening tonight; it's my hope they'll let me write about it but I'm awaiting approval.
The point is, I'm taking chances. It's scary and fantastic. Clearing the rubble requires a mask and a lot of shoveling. I got a text this week from a dear friend that said it all; "You're alive and participating."
Old Out. New In.
Then I talked to my friend on the call about the loft apartment I had in Toronto years ago. I bought it in the spring of 1999 and moved into it in the fall of 2000. It was 17 months, countless delays, then an additional year of visits from the renovation company fixing deficiencies. It was three years from puchase to a finished condo.
The building was over a million square feet; they had to clear thousands of truck loads of rubble from the office building it once was, before they could even begin to build each loft unit. The entire project took them over eight years. Luckily I was in phase two and only had to wait just under a year and a half. If you are in construction, interior design, or had any of it done for you, you know that a retrofit takes three times longer than a new build. A buddy has designed and built new two homes from scratch and collectively they took less time than my loft did to finish.
Not So Comfy
So when we’re looking at our lives, far too often we stumble on our way to the solution because we have absolutely no idea where we’re going or what solution will feel right. For some strange reason, we use the term “comfort zone” for many things that don’t feel all that comfortable. It’s akin to the devil you know verses the unknown.
I’ve had relationships that died long before they ended; clients that didn’t want the help I was trying to provide but we kept at it; and career paths I wanted to pursue but was too afraid to take my first step. Being more authentic with my writing, sharing this with you, and stepping into my truth has represented years of struggle.
Write a New Story
Your life is a collection of your experiences; it’s also a story you’re telling yourself about who you are now and what you might be in the future. It doesn’t have to be either. It can be a chance to clear the rubble and rebuild while understanding the bones of your life are solid; it’s just the accouterments that need to change.
Clearing the rubble is necessary before we can design the path we want to travel. That could mean a new job, ending a bad relationship, being courageous to start a new one, not seeing that friend who is selfish, and letting go of the things we think define us in order to make room for beauty to emerge.
Life's too short to settle for a crappy one.
As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience as a business coach and project manager in numerous industries and organizations including; human resources, corporate training, financial services, media, real estate, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting leaders who want to improve their bottom line through strong culture and leadership. firstname.lastname@example.org