August 17, 2009

Boss Types: Recognize Anyone?

I may have stumbled upon what could be the earliest known document on business strategy. The authors, date and origin cannot be verified but the information is just as useful today as when it was first penned.

The work discusses managerial types and as you can appreciate, the titles are in Latin.

Scaredycate Closedoorius

This is the manager who has an “open door policy” when no one is actually in her office. Once the meeting begins, doors are sealed. Anything discussed in said meetings are to be filtered through the perception of the boss to then be translated to staff, customers or clients.

Likedbyallorus Needium

Great guy, super guy, always smiling, always has time for you. He deals with no actual crises. When the bullets fly, he is unfortunately very busy with other issues. As long as things are rosy and fun it’s a great place to work but conflict or client issues are brushed neatly under the corporate non-answer area rug.

Unwantiate Inputarium

The office is adorned with a bright four color bound document which outlines the company’s story, plans and mantra. Embossed on the front is the phrase “Our People Are Our Strongest Asset”. Through the threshold of the lobby is where that mantra dies a rapid painful death to make room for Unwantiate Inputarium’s benevolent dictatorship.

Lackus Spinearia

Much like Pompom Nobadnoos, this type of leader sits in his corner office praising people when things are good but is unable to make one concrete decision of any substance that will actually move the company forward. Some are amazed a human can stand upright with so little support in one's back. He thinks he’s pulling it off whilst fooling no one.

Use Extreme Caution

Unconfirmed reports state there is an entire book devoted solely to Nevergettium Anythingonim but the search continues.

The best way to build a company is through strong respected leadership, solid strategy and an atmosphere of co-creation but not everyone shares that view.

Recognize anyone?

@knealemann
Let’s create experiences, not campaigns.

Disclaimer: if you feel compelled to remind staff you are the boss, you have already lost the room.

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