Dinner by Committee

If you have worked a day in your life, it is fairly safe to say you have worked alongside others. In some cases, those experiences have been enjoyable while others have not. You may have had to endure an arrogant selfish boss while other situations have been filled with giving collaborative coworkers.

We seem to enjoy looking at things “on paper” but they get all wobbly when we add the human element and often it’s because we are unclear about the mandate. Often there is a struggle among conflicting agendas or someone comes in and plays the “I’m the boss” card. None of these scenarios are effective, productive, or long lasting business success models. However, sadly they are far too common.

But what happens when you ask a group of people to build a structure out of spaghetti, string, and a marshmallows?


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P is for People

Anyone in marketing can recite the four P's which are product, price, placement, and promotion. But how do the four P's apply to company culture and leadership? 

Practice 

Have you ever been to a sporting event or seen a live play or concert? Have you watched a great movie? Do you have any experience meeting someone else who is successful in business? Do you find motivation from people who show talent and prowess in a particular discipline? In each case, someone spent years honing their skills to make it appear effortless. Yet we are quick to criticize from the comfort of our 20oz beer mug in the 300 level. Now think about your skill set and what you can bring to any situation. Did you learn and execute all you know immediately? 

Patience 

If you enjoy writing, reading a good book may give you more determination to work on your own novel. You may know someone who went back to school and emerged with a whole new career path. Seeing others succeed may give you reason to study their process to improve your business. 

Persistence 

It requires working nights and weekends, writing ideas on scraps of paper you later find in the laundry, networking well, reading incessantly while life blends with work. No successful person in history has gotten it right the first time. And no one does it alone.

Play 

There are many ways to be successful. What's important is to be organized and have a strategic plan. It is equally essential not to settle for good enough - that's what the other guys do. It's critical not to rest on the past or think we have all the answers, that's where danger resides. And it's okay to get a little messy once in a while, take some chances. 

Let's add a fifth – Purpose. __________________________________________________________________

More Useless Facts

It's been a while, so let's do another list of useless facts that will not get you the job, impress potential partners, or get you that awesome gig at the AI development firm.

But they are fun nonetheless;

Earth's rotation is changing speed. It's actually slowing, and this means that, on average, the length of a day increases by around 1.8 seconds per century. C'mon, I don't have all second!

Allodoxaphobia is the fear of other people's opinions. It's a rare social phobia characterized by an irrational and overwhelming fear of what other people think. So keep your opinion to yourself.

M&Ms are named after the businessmen who created them. Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie. Just a few handfuls for me, thanks.

The world's longest walking distance is 14,000 miles. You can walk from Magadan in Russia to Cape Town in South Africa. It requires no flying or sailing—just bridges and open roads. Bring comfy shoes.

A jiffy is an actual unit of time. It's 1/100th of a second. And a peanut butter brand.

The shortest commercial flight in the world takes place in Scotland. Regional airline Loganair flies between the islands Westray and Papa Westray. The journey is just 1.7 miles and takes 90 seconds. Baggage claim is about 90 minutes.

There are more than 1,000 types of bananas growing in the world. These can then be divided into 50 categories. Gonna need a bigger freezer.

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Return Policy

It's been widely reported that the difference between us and the rest of the animal kingdom is apposable thumbs and the ability to reason. And wouldn't it be so much easier if that was the only difference?

We human types are complicated creatures and I suspect our reasoning minds add way more complication than is required to live a successful and contented life. We want more money to buy more things; we want to climb company ladders to achieve bigger titles; we want a nicer house than Bob across the street; the list is endless and most of it is useless to finding happiness or contentment. 

More More More

When we get our first apartment, it's usually filled with hand-me-downs from our parents or family. I think I was well into my 20's before I purchased my very own set of new cutlery (silverware) which went nicely with my very own set of new dishes and cups. 

Fast forward many years and many moves and many sets of dinnerware, and now I have stuff I actually don't even remember buying and why is that? Are we seeking something we can never catch? Is last year's car not good enough for us? Do we really need that food processor that will grate cheese in seconds?

Less is More

I think one of the sources of our unhappiness is that we have no clue what we want or what we'll do when we find it. I recently had to return some items I bought online because they were the wrong size. As I was dropping them off at the courier place, I realized two things – I didn't need the items and have no intention of re-ordering different sizes. What is that? Boredom? I'm not sure.

I guess we can make the case for just about any decision. That's why you can buy a McLaren supercar in hot pink. Our reasoning minds aren't always sound in their decisions. So while we search for something we'll never find, perhaps figuring out what we need and dumping the rest is a good first start?

 Perhaps my parents' old couch was all I needed?

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Hope So

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words

Synonyms for hope include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, and optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful.
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Two Wheels and a Trunk

I was thinking about a situation that happened a couple of years ago that sucked. Life moved on but I still think about it. I've asked numerous people if they have events they relive in their heads over and over again. The answer is almost always yes because most of us do. But why is that?

I'm not suggesting we don't relive happy memories, but the challenges seem to cut deeper for some reason. Is it perhaps because we are still learning a lesson? I know this, the more we try and not think about those events, the more we think about them. If I was to ask you to not think about an orange elephant riding a motorcycle – good luck getting that image out of your head!

Beware of the Lizard Brain

I'd consider myself a fairly smart dude, so why can't I just tell myself to stop letting something that has already happened, which I cannot change, continue to bug me? It has to do with the part of the limbic system in our brains that is in charge of fight, flight, feed, fear, or freeze. It is our survival mechanism which decides what we do next if we are experiencing stress. It's why we can't seem to get started on the project even though we know the deadline looms.

If we have a situation, current or past, real or imagined, it will react immediately. If we are experiencing or have experienced pain, it will focus solely on that moment. When I think of that event, it's as if I am reliving it over and over again. 

Negative vs Positive

Perhaps this is more prevalent in Western culture, but we seem to do it more often when remembering negative situations over joyous ones. Do we think we don't deserve joy and need to pay for pain? I'm obviously not a psychologist but I think there's something to that. Our frontal lobe is in charge of reasoning, motor skills, higher level cognition, and expressive language. So our complicated brain starts to fight with itself. 

I've started an exercise and like most when you begin, I'm terrible at it, but I'm trying to think of five positive things in my life or events that have happened whenever a negative thought or memory crosses my mind. When I can do it successfully, it actually works. So perhaps you can try it if you can't seem to get past a negative event in your past.

I wonder how the elephant balances on that motorcycle? 

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Scaredy Cat Personified

Many opine we aren't born with fear but as we go through our lives, it seems we take less chances and become more cautious. It could be because we've experienced things that haven't gone well. It could be because we think we have more wisdom so not to make foolish choices. That voice in our head says; "let's not do that again!"

Experts have been studying this for years and in an article entitled "Decision Neuroscience: Why We Become More Cautious with Age", there is sound evidence which suggests at least part of the reason is physical. As we age, the levels of dopamine in our bodies declines. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and a hormone. It plays a role in many important body functions, including movement, memory and pleasurable reward and motivation. We might be smart but our physiological makeup does have a say in the matter without our interference. 

Age and Ageing 

So that might point to why we rolled the dice at 20 and hesitated at 50. We were born with the ability to reason but we are also made up of chemical elements that don't ask for our input and can become our biggest foe.  

I've had to make a couple of pretty significant decisions in the last few years. One of them I belabored over for weeks. I had a similar situation happen almost two decades ago and I jumped at it. I did make the move again this time but I was aware of how I gave downside more weight than opportunity. 

Hormone levels and age may make us pause a bit longer or fear a bit more but here might be an exercise worth trying. Find something small you are thinking about right now. It could literally be something so insignificant, it might not even matter next week. Take five minutes and try and think of you a decade or two ago and make the decision through that lens. You might surprise yourself.

But I'm still not bungie jumping! 

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Time May Change Me

Change is a concept that seems to drive us, win elections, looks great on a t-shirt, and creates stress. We hear the word and feel two immediate and visceral responses: things will improve for us and everyone will need to change but us. Things need to change around here, but I'm fine!

We love the idea of it; the cozy non-committal nature of talking about it. It's as if the world was covered in magic dust and all is well. "They need to change." "We need to bring about change." "Change is gonna come." It all sounds so good, doesn't it?

Someday does not appear on the calendar

To most, change is about control and standing still while others make the shift. You may be one who thrives on change but be careful when you want to instill it on others. They too may like the theory but will define it to fit their own convenience. Who among us admits to be part of the problem?

We want things to change but often under our rules and our guidelines. And whenever you include anything or anyone outside of your own mind, the grip must be loosened or collaboration becomes a challenge. 

Actual change verses talking about change is the key. __________________________________________________________________

Life Life Balance

We say it several times a day. We meet a client, see a friend, join a Zoom call, and the first thing we often say is; "How are you?" The reply is often;"I'm good, you?". And we move on. Why do we do that? Is it uncomfortable if someone said they were tired because their baby is sick or down because of their ailing father or upset due to their marriage having trouble?

I get there is a right time and place for personal stuff but without oversharing, how can we take that original salutation just an inch farther? I'm not suggesting fake compassion; I'm referring to the real stuff. Take just twenty seconds to see how someone is doing. You aren't there to solve their challenge but rather to simply be human. We're not robots and there might be much more going on if someone isn't "making their numbers".

Leave it at home

I am lucky to work in a company and with a team who does take a moment to see how you are really doing and let you know they actually see you as a person. It doesn't weaken relationships, it strengthens them.

I feel the core of teamwork is having each other's backsides not our own. Hopefully others feel the same way. If someone is missing deadlines or their work quality is waning, it's time for a check in and see if they are truly okay. Work is not a place to spend your time talking about your kids and home life all day. We are humans not robots and if we think people shouldn't bring their life to work, we may have another challenge.

They might stop bringing their work to life. 

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Music Power

It has the ability to evoke deep emotions and transport us to another time and place. It's an art form that has been an integral part of human culture for thousands of years, and continues to play a significant role in our lives today. The impact of music on our lives is undeniable and it can be quite personal.

Music has a way of bridging the gap between individuals and creating a sense of community. It can serve as a unifying force, breaking down cultural, linguistic, and socioeconomic barriers, and bring people together in a shared experience. Or simply a way to loosen the mood at the board meeting.

A Tool for Self-Expression 

For many musicians and songwriters, the creative process of writing and performing music is a way to convey their emotions, experiences, and perspectives to the world. It is a way for them to connect with their audience, and to inspire and empower others. 

The impact of music on our emotions is well documented. It's why music is often used in therapy, to help individuals express their feelings, heal from injuries, and work through challenging emotions. The Canadian Music Therapy Fund exists for that very reason.

Culture and Context 

Music is also an important part of our cultural heritage. From classical compositions to indigenous folk songs, music is a testament to the creativity and ingenuity of our predecessors, and serves as a reminder of the importance of preserving our cultural heritage for future generations.

Whether you're a musician, music lover, or simply someone who appreciates the power of a good tune, the impact of music on our lives is irrefutable, and we should never underestimate its ability to enrich and transform us. 

I must now crank my ear buds. _________________________________________________________________

What They Said

A choice can require additional data or more time. Members of the team need further deliberation to make an informed call. The customer has to check budget allocations. You're unsure it’s aligned with the overall strategy.

Waiting can be justified but excuses can also be the reason we wait. Some decisions require time, others aren't made because we're in the way.

We look for leadership to be decisive and crisp. It’s about helping people get better, keeping everyone on track, and getting stuff done. But it isn't always smooth in real life. How often have you finally pulled the pin and the relief quickly replaces your fear?

Some inspiration as we deliberate:

The only person you really have control over is yourself.
Deborah Reber

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
Tony Robbins

When you make the right decision, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.
Caroline Kennedy

Peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.
Rita Mae Brown

Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.
Brian Tracy

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

What's your decision?
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Next on the Want List

You've said it; you’ve heard it; you’ve been asked it - what do you want? It’s a huge question and most of us have a list. It’s too much to ask. I want to be financially stable. I want a puppy. I want to have millions. I want to retire. I want to live in a lakefront mansion and sip iced tea all day.

We all dream of winning the lottery. We all let our minds wander to places where we perceive our problems will vanish and life will be endless bliss. It's like the old story of the nine year old boy who is once asked; "So Sam, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and Sam quickly replies; "I wanna be rich!" 

Tougher Done Than Said

It took me years to grasp the concept of the fear of success. It sounded counterintuitive. The fear of failure, to me, is easy to understand. You don't want to fall on your face or run out of money or have to give up things you have your life. The embarrassment of failing is terrible. But, what about our fear of what we will do if what we try actually works? How will you handle the responsibility of that dream coming true?

The marketing genius Seth Godin once challenged that it's easier to fail small. Complaining about the fact we never amount to anything or we're not meant to win or no one ever gives us a break, is way easier than the unwavering persistence required to achieve something we want.

It's Way Too Big

In my opinion, it's easy to say you want a Bugatti Veyron because odds are pretty good it will never happen. It's much more difficult to identify the small shifts we need to make every day to get to the bigger dreams we possess. My business partner and I have been working on a project for close to a year. There are days we wonder if we are out of our minds. But each day, you push a bit more, ask a little bit more, and keep at it. Giving up now will only make us forever wonder what if we had kept going. 

You have dreams. You have things you want to accomplish. You have stuff that may feel a little out of reach. But I'm willing to bet if you suspend those for just today and think about what you could do right now to get what you need right now or your next want, over time, those bigger things will come clearer into focus. 

Let's try that and see what happens.

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Introextrointroextroverts

I'm an extroverted introvert who enjoys collaborating in team and group environments but must have alone time to recharge. Some days I prefer to work in my office and the phone calls, emails, and Zooms are enough people for me. In fact, my introverted traits are getting stronger as I get older. 

I am an ENFP (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception) which means I am influenced by intuition and external connections. But there is a strong internal piece which is key to process how I feel about things and how they fit into my value system as well.

A Mixed Bag

When I look at the people I spend the most time with, it’s a mix, which is typical of an ENFP as I get energy from others and the varied traits they bring. And some of the closest people in my life are actually introverts. If you know one or are one, you know quiet and impersonal are not accurate descriptions of an introvert. Those in my life are incredibly personable, engaging, and funny. 

Being an introvert does not mean you dislike people and need to be alone all the time. I have a colleague who is an introvert and prefers to solve issues one-on-one in plain language through conversation and collaboration while her boss wants every report in triplicate to outline the effectiveness of the analysis of the plan. One gets energy from relationships while the other can’t operate without reports and structure. 

No Calls Please

One of my best friends – who is definitely an extrovert – is a very successful investment adviser who does most of his work with clients rather than sitting in his office doing paperwork. His energy comes from being with and helping people and he does it all day long. It is funny to note that he hates phone calls and will prefer to text if he has to use the phone at all.

So if you have someone on your team who isn't like you, celebrate that, celebrate them, and get to know their way, their perspective, and their view on the world. Our differences make our lives interesting.

Labels might be good for clothing but not for people. ________________________________________________________________

Sales for a Day

Yes, we're all in sales, but I'm referring to a career that has defined metrics. You sell, you survive. You don't sell, your commission is affected. You park your laptop on a desk in the “sales department” kind of sales. You have numbers you need to hit this quarter, kind of sales. You eat what you kill, kind of sales. It's one thing for your performance to be measured by how you do your job. It's much different to be judged by the actual money you actually bring in the actual door. 

Sales is the transference of trust, so you must build strong relationships. Sales can be a grind and not for those with delicate digestive tracts. It's common for those not in sales to think the sales department will do anything for a buck. After all, they are rewarded in their pay stubs if they sell more stuff. That couldn't be farther from the truth. If you don't respect and believe in what you're selling, making numbers will be a guess at best. 

Numbers and People 

I've spent almost twenty years of my career selling myself long before selling any product or service. That isn't an easy process and the self-ringing phone has yet to be invented. Sales is not easy, but if you have the right product or service, and most importantly, support of your team and management, it can be exciting and rewarding. 

To those in sales, you have my upmost gratitude and respect. To those who are not in a sales role, I have an idea for you – try it for just one day.

You will gain a entire new perspective.

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Burn Baby Burn?

We've heard it since we were kids. It's sage advice, but not always possible in the heat of the moment. I'll tell you a quick story of when I could have burned a bridge, chose not to, and it changed my life completely. 

Over twenty years ago, I was working in an organization going through significant employee reductions. The day came when the envelope was slid toward me on the desk and I was walking to my car with eight years of my career in a box under my arm. 

Life Isn't Fair

I was hurt and angry. I could have called them every name imaginable. My choice was to take a deep breath, force my chin up, and move on with my life. It was incredibly difficult. Three years later, the company called me back and I was there for another seven. 

That original decision not to burn that bridge, propelled me into other opportunities. Most of the other people who were gassed that day, burned the bridge and the river it was on and never worked in the industry again. 

 Lessons Learned

Sometimes we get the short end of the stick and that sucks. But I learned from that experience and many since; if you are a good person and you don't stab people in the back, it will pay back huge dividends. 

I'm working on a project right now that requires me to call numerous people I once worked with, partnered with, did projects with, and I am happy to report they're taking my call. I'm not suggesting every call turns into millions nor am I saying that it's enough to move this project forward on its own.

Your Character Precedes You 

If I had been a complete jerk and burned bridges along the way, those calls would have gone unanswered. Our reputation goes farther than we even know. 

If you're human with people, respect their time, and ask for their advice, you will be surprised what happens. They will help, they will suggest ideas, and they will make other introductions for you.

If we burn bridges, we better be prepared to do a lot of swimming.

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Leadership To-Do List

Allow others to inspire. Find the how. Get out of their way. Be present even during challenging times. Have clear expectations. Don't expect to ever have all the answers.

Helping others is a privilege. Back your people up. Be bold. Never stop learning. Open door policies are for those who mean it. Don’t hide behind busy. It’s their career too.

Be inquisitive. 

Invest at least half of your time helping people. Hire passion. A team is more than celebrating victories. Don’t be a boss. Listen. Don’t hide when your people need you.

Grow their strengths. 

Let them shine. Be fair. Get to know what motivates everyone on your team. Seek guidance from those who are committed to helping you grow. Customer service begins with you. Never settle. Understand that it will be the most rewarding work you’ll ever have the privilege to do.

And it won't be listed on your business card.

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The Hope Strategy

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words
Synonyms include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful.
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Actual Intelligence

If you've ever spent time with a group of people from the same industry which you're not a part, you begin to sense the have their own sayings, short forms, and acronyms. It’s almost as if they are speaking another language; their own language. 

Years ago, I was consulting a large pharma company and on one of our conference calls, I asked them to translate into English. At first, they were confused, but then they laughed and understood. 

 What do You Mean? 

We think we’re being clear, but we have to understand that our thoughts may not align with others’ understanding. When we take the time to step back, breathe, and gain more insight into how others are perceiving us, we stand a better chance of understanding each other and at times ourselves. 

 Technical speak and industry specifics are often needed, but sometimes boiling things down to the most basic level is the best way to avoid misinterpretation. If we take a moment and suspend our beliefs to check for understanding, conflict can be avoided and teamwork can be improved. 

Data in. Data out.

One idea is to find someone outside our circle to ask their opinion. Their lack of industry knowledge might unlock some questions we hadn't considered. As the AI frenzy continues, this may become a larger issue. Someone asks you to write a technical document on your work. 

You plug in what you can into the AI generation interface. It spits out what you think is a well-crafted piece you can share with the team. Then you realize self-creating data works best when the data that's fed into it is actually accurate. The real issue is when a human being starts asking questions about the content you didn't write or understand. 

Good luck!

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Count the P's

Anyone in marketing can recite the four P's which are product, price, placement, and promotion. But how do the four P's apply to company culture and leadership? 

Practice 

Have you ever been to a sporting event or seen a live play or concert? Have you watched a great movie? Do you have any experience meeting someone else who is successful in business? Do you find motivation from people who show talent and prowess in a particular discipline? In each case, someone spent years honing their skills to make it appear effortless. Yet we are quick to criticize from the comfort of our 20oz beer mug in the 300 level. Now think about your skill set and what you can bring to any situation. Did you learn and execute all you know immediately? 

Patience 

If you enjoy writing, reading a good book may give you more determination to work on your own novel. You may know someone who went back to school and emerged with a whole new career path. Seeing others succeed may give you reason to study their process to improve your business. 

Persistence 

It requires working nights and weekends, writing ideas on scraps of paper you later find in the laundry, networking well, reading incessantly while life blends with work. No successful person in history has gotten it right the first time. And no one does it alone.

Play 

There are many ways to be successful. What's important is to be organized and have a strategic plan. It is equally essential not to settle for good enough - that's what the other guys do. It's critical not to rest on the past or think we have all the answers, that's where danger resides. And it's okay to get a little messy once in a while, take some chances. 

Let's add a fifth – Purpose. __________________________________________________________________

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

We love stories. They give our lives perspective. They help give context to concepts we share. If we can present a new idea that resonates with the audience, it holds more credibility. But if I share an idea with you, you don’t just digest what I'm saying; your beliefs, perceptions, and point of view come into play. Your experience and bias is always part of the equation. 

The same happens with team culture. If you work in an environment that encourages sales at all costs but you prefer building relationships first, your time will be challenged. Those who measure success solely by financial gain may tell you to just make more calls because their perspective is relationships are a numbers game. 

 It’s the way we do it around here 

 If your leadership style is to give a good portion of your time to help the development of your people to in turn grow the bottom line; someone who tells you the best way to motivate people is through fear, will be a recipe for conflict. The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They feed our narrative, perspective, and beliefs. They can become our truth regardless of reality or facts. 

And it gets even trickier when you have culture comprised of people from different demographics, psychographics, or points of view. This is not to suggest teams succeed when everyone thinks the same way - just the opposite - but if we become rigid, we can close ourselves off from even better ideas. 

Turning the camera around 

If you have a belief embedded deep inside you, it will require enormous energy for me to first convince you another stance and then share my view. 

Multiple that dynamic by hundreds or thousands in an organization and you can quickly see how the power of story can morph into complication. But if we accept our differing points of view, we both win. 

 The stories we tell ourselves can also get in our way.

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