Why Stuck?

This post was originally published as a guest contribution
on Liz Strauss' Successful Blog.

We All Have Choices

Recently, a friend sent me a copy of Rick Butts’ e-book 7 Choices. In it, Rick talks about the time we work on us versus the time we work on what we do or getting customers or what we can offer. In the age of social networking, we can all create profiles and exchange ideas.


How much time do we spend on better understanding ourselves?

In 1943, Abraham Maslow outlined our need to belong in his paper Hierarchy of Needs. No matter your age or situation, you want your life to have purpose and passion. That is the core of why we may get stuck – we aren’t following either. We haven’t deciphered who we are and what drives our passion. All too often we seek external confirmation.

Internet Friends

If you are immersed in social media and haven’t taken a moment to think of all the wonderful people you would not have met otherwise you are missing the essential part of the process. In my case, I met Liz Strauss and Kathryn Jennex and over the course of two years we all got to know each other.

A few tweets turned in to some emails and phone calls then in to actual work. I look forward to new projects with them in 2010. My friend Lisa Hickey calls it accelerated serendipity.

We're In This Together

I was at an event last week and realized that the twenty or so people I was sitting with had all met online. We shared similar sensibilities, we found trust with each other and we want each other to be happy and do well.

So why do we get stuck? Is it because no one will help us realize our passion and purpose? Or is it that we haven’t discovered it inside us in order to tell people what we want?

Three years ago, a friend gave me a copy of The Secret. I watched the first half of the film with my closed mind and arms folded and the second half taking notes.

Notes Are Not Enough

We need action and focus. We are human. We get stuck. We fall into the same traps of listening to the opinions of naysayers. We fail to listen to that pang in deep in our gut. If you haven't experience this, count yourself very fortunate. That is extremely rare.

I was speaking with a client the other day about Ellen DeGeneres. She endured three years of unanswered phone calls. No one wanted to hire her and she was running out of money. She was stuck. She then got the idea of doing her own talk show. The studios weren’t falling over themselves to help her realize her dream.

But Ellen made it happen and built it into one of the most popular shows on television. It took work and persistence. She did it because she found out who she was and got unstuck.

Help Is On The Way

Does this mean we shouldn’t discover people we trust to help us navigate this journey? Ask the most successful people on the planet if they get stuck and you will get a resounding – YES!

None of us is immune. But if someone asks you to help them get unstuck, forget their resume or the past and listen to what they need. If you do, magic will happen for both of you.

Thanks Liz!

@knealemann
marketing and social media strategy

image credit: thecarconnection.com

A Bunch Of Caramels

Skylar: "Maybe we could go out for
coffee sometime?"

Will: "Great, or maybe we could go
somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels."

Skylar: "What?"

Will: "When you think about it,
it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee."

Skylar: [laughs] "Okay, sounds good."

Good Will Hunting (1997)

I was at a meeting where the topic of social media came up as it so often does.

We all agreed that without it, none of us would have met and the conversation we were having would not have happened.

Online Then Off Line

I piped up and said that the crucial part of forming these new relationships is that you need to “take them off-line”. My buddy Chris jumped all over me and said “You mean, actually meet people in person?”

Yeah, I’m a geek! That’s right, actually pick up the phone and ask to meet.

Going Past The Profile

We have tools and ways to reach each other that past generations did not but if we don’t harness them to the betterment of those newly found relationships, then all we’re doing is writing on each other’s wall.

Pick up the phone. Invite someone for coffee. Magic can happen. And you may even get a bunch of caramels out of the deal.

How do you meet new people?

@knealemann
knealemann at gmail dot com

Let’s create experiences, not campaigns.

image credit: thekitchn.com

Connections, Followers and Other Humans

If you have spent some time in the social media space, you might have discovered that it’s no different than real life. There are spammers, scammers and scrammers. There are fantastically talented people. There is a multitude who you would never had met otherwise – or as my friend Lisa Hickey calls it – accelerated serendipity.

Clarifying the Definition

Media is simply the plural of the word 'medium'. And social is another word for human connection.

The medium is irrelevant, the connection is everything.

Human networking has been in existence for as long as we have but the tools and sites, profiles and walls, tweets and connections have shrunk the world to the size of our computer screen.

It's available in 17 designer colors.

But if all we do is gather friends like dust collecting trinkets on the mantle, we will never activate the immense power of the lives we are touching.

Here’s something you can try, actually stop and engage someone, ask to speak with them or go for coffee, share ideas, let them get to know you and whatever you do – put the sales pitch away!

What do you think of me?

What is your reaction to someone who comes up to you in person and starts barking their deal at you and shoving their card in your face? Yeah, me too. So why would you do it online?

In order for someone to add you on a social media profile, they need to take a second of their lives to decide to say ‘yes’. There are millions of these occurrences happening right now. You may do several - or several hundred - today.

The question remains: Then what?

@knealemann

Let’s create experiences, not campaigns.

image credit: officecafe.com

Mom For A Day

I had the pleasure of reconnecting with a colleague I hadn’t seen in years and it was a great reunion. She is now a mother of two, happily married to an awesome guy and kicking butt with her company. We had a great catch up chat then I got to meet some of her friends – friends she met because of her company.

Same Same But Not What You Think

The one thing in common with this group was they are all moms. They shared kid stories for a while but what resonated with me was how bright and full of life this table was, it was awesome. I left being more inspired and enlightened for the experience.

Happy Accidents

This ‘chance meeting’ happened because I reached out to say hi to someone I hadn’t seen in years. This accelerated serendipitous event occurred because of a community my long lost colleague had built and continues to build online.

Once back in the office, I felt compelled to thank each person for allowing me to stick around and be the only non-mom at the table. People I would never had met by any other possible accident. Oh and they asked about my Twitter address, so we could all keep in touch.

People Are People

This group may have met because of the common bond of motherhood but the point of it was bright business owners enjoying great coffee sharing stories, experiences and ideas.

Thanks to Erica Ehm, Brenda Hollingsworth, Candace Derickx and Kelli Catana for letting me 'guest mom' for the day.

Who have you not spoken with in a while?

What magic could happen if you got in touch with them?

@knealemann