Life Life Balance

We say it several times a day. We meet a client, see a friend, join a Zoom call, and the first thing we often say is; "How are you?" The reply is often;"I'm good, you?". And we move on. Why do we do that? Is it uncomfortable if someone said they were tired because their baby is sick or down because of their ailing father or upset due to their marriage having trouble?

I get there is a right time and place for personal stuff but without oversharing, how can we take that original salutation just an inch farther? I'm not suggesting fake compassion; I'm referring to the real stuff. Take just twenty seconds to see how someone is doing. You aren't there to solve their challenge but rather to simply be human. We're not robots and there might be much more going on if someone isn't "making their numbers".

Leave it at home

I am lucky to work in a company and with a team who does take a moment to see how you are really doing and let you know they actually see you as a person. It doesn't weaken relationships, it strengthens them.

I feel the core of teamwork is having each other's backsides not our own. Hopefully others feel the same way. If someone is missing deadlines or their work quality is waning, it's time for a check in and see if they are truly okay. Work is not a place to spend your time talking about your kids and home life all day. We are humans not robots and if we think people shouldn't bring their life to work, we may have another challenge.

They might stop bringing their work to life. 

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Extrointraextrovert

I'm an extrovert introvert who enjoys collaborating in team and group environments but also needs and enjoys some chill time on my own to recharge. I’m an ENFP (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception) which means I focus on intuition and external connections. But there is a strong internal piece which is key to process how I feel about things and how they fit into my value system.

I live in the world of possibilities – which can trip me up on follow through – but I see life as a gift and literally wake up every day looking forward to the possibilities. I have my share of down times and self-doubt which again is typical of someone driven by emotion and connection.

Up Downside

When I look at the 20 or so people I spend the most time with, it’s a mix, which is typical of an ENFP as I get energy from others and the varied traits they bring. And some of the closest people in my life are actually introverts. If you know one or are one, you know the label isn't completely accurate. The ones in my life are incredibly personable, engaging, and funny. Introvert means shy and withdrawn and I disagree with those broad labels.

I have a colleague who is an introvert and prefers to solve issues at work one-on-one in plain language through conversation and collaboration while her boss wants every report in triplicate to outline the effectiveness of the analysis of the plan. One gets energy from relationships while the other can’t operate without reports and structure.

P2P

One of my best friends – who is definitely an extrovert – is a very successful investment adviser who does most of his work on the phone or with clients rather than sitting in his office doing paperwork. His energy comes from being with and helping people and he does it all day long.

So if you have someone on your team who isn't like you, celebrate that, celebrate them, and get to know their way, their perspective, and their view on the world. We can talk about the multi-generational workplace another time.

Labels are good for clothing not people.
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Introextrointroverts Unite

I'm an extroverted introvert who enjoys collaborating in team and group environments but must have alone time to recharge. Some days I prefer to work in my office and the phone calls, emails, and Zooms are enough people for me. In fact, my introverted traits are getting stronger as I get older. 

I am an ENFP (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception) which means I am influenced by intuition and external connections. But there is a strong internal piece which is key to process how I feel about things and how they fit into my value system as well.

A Mixed Bag

When I look at the people I spend the most time with, it’s a mix, which is typical of an ENFP as I get energy from others and the varied traits they bring. And some of the closest people in my life are actually introverts. If you know one or are one, you know quiet and impersonal are not accurate descriptions of an introvert. Those in my life are incredibly personable, engaging, and funny. 

Being an introvert does not mean you dislike people and need to be alone all the time. I have a colleague who is an introvert and prefers to solve issues one-on-one in plain language through conversation and collaboration while her boss wants every report in triplicate to outline the effectiveness of the analysis of the plan. One gets energy from relationships while the other can’t operate without reports and structure. 

No Calls Please

One of my best friends – who is definitely an extrovert – is a very successful investment adviser who does most of his work with clients rather than sitting in his office doing paperwork. His energy comes from being with and helping people and he does it all day long. It is funny to note that he hates phone calls and will prefer to text if he has to use the phone at all.

So if you have someone on your team who isn't like you, celebrate that, celebrate them, and get to know their way, their perspective, and their view on the world. Our differences make our lives interesting.

Labels might be good for clothing but not for people. ________________________________________________________________