Quiet Confidence

We tend to picture the loudest person in the room - the one with all the answers, who never seems nervous or doubts a decision as the most confident. Real confidence is much quieter. What's the saying? No one likes a know-it-all?

It's speaking up when we have something worth saying while being comfortable enough to listen when someone else has a better idea. It's admitting we don't know everything and asking questions instead of pretending we do. 

Easier said than done 

There are more days than not when I don't feel confident. There are moments when I question myself; second-guess decisions; and wonder if I'm doing enough. I think many people feel that way, but we rarely talk about it. We see confidence in others because we see the outside; not the doubts and uncertainty behind the scenes. 

I've met people with impressive titles who had very little confidence. I've also met people with no title who carried themselves with certainty. I often mistake confidence with arrogance. I don't do well with bragging loudmouths, so maybe I overcompensate? 

 Shape not define 

When we're younger, we often look for approval. Over time, we learn confidence comes from within. It has less to do with applause and more to do with character. Here's where things go pear shaped. When we're younger, we often have less fear to try new stuff and that dissipates as we age.

Confidence isn't about feeling certain every day. It's about moving forward even on the days when we don't. Maybe that's what confidence really is - not the absence of doubt, but the decision not to let doubt stop us.

Some days we lead; most days we learn. ____________________________________________________________

Quiet the Critic

Self‑doubt has always been one of my biggest challenges. Even when things seem on track, I catch myself hesitating or wondering if I’m really capable. Self-doubt shows up in big decisions, creative work, or even everyday choices. 

Up to 85% of people feel like imposters at some point. A 2020 study in Personality and Individual Differences found frequent social comparison fuels hesitation. Recognizing this helps us notice patterns and adjust before it slows us down. Easier said than done.

Small Wins Matter 

Breaking big goals into smaller steps - called “success scaffolding” - is surprisingly effective. A 2018 Journal of Experimental Social Psychology study showed celebrating tiny wins boosts confidence and reduces anxiety. Tracking small milestones makes even big challenges feel manageable and builds momentum. The way you speak to yourself sets the tone for what you achieve. 

Clinical Psychological Science found neutral, compassionate self-talk (“I can figure this out” instead of “I always fail”) strengthens resilience. Catching negative thoughts and reframing them - even out loud—helps you respond differently under pressure. 

Track and Interrupt Patterns 

Logging moments of self-doubt helps you spot triggers like perfectionism or looming deadlines. Awareness turns automatic hesitation into intentional action, giving you the power to act instead of freeze. 

Small wins, kinder self-talk, pattern tracking, and leaning on constructive feedback help you move forward despite doubt. It’s not about being fearless - it’s about choosing progress over fear and trusting yourself along the way. 

 Sometimes we have to build confidence.

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What's For Dinner?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

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Hope So

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words

Synonyms for hope include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, and optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful.
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The Hope Strategy

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words
Synonyms include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful.
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Would You Like Fear with That?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
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Fake News and Other Opinions

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word belief as; an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. Oxford defines the word opinion as; your feelings or thoughts about someone or something, void of proven fact.  

Which side decides which belief or opinion is true? Is it the guy who uses ALL CAPS to make his point? Is it the dirtbag who became president and when caught in a lie, doubles down with another lie? Some won't accept a fact even with overwhelming evidence if it doesn't serve their agenda. 

Facts are irrelevant. 

I believe US politics is a bit of a dumpster fire; you may not and that's cool. We do have to give kudos to the red team for their strategy of taking the win when they win but blaming all other humans when they lose. That's what five year olds do. What a spectacular way to get yourself out of every jam in your life. It's literally never your fault. Try it with your boss the next time you miss an important client deadline. 

Despite one shred of evidence, millions still believe the 2020 US election was stolen. Apparently if you call something a witch hunt and fake news long enough, some will believe you. If you don't get your way, apparently acting like a giant baby is the way to go. I live in Canada and it's like watching the WWE from the cheap seats.  

Many who start the rumor only care about winning at all costs. Their belief is irrelevant as long as they serve their opinion. But that's just my belief and opinion, of course.

I'll get the popcorn.

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Do You Hope?

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words

Synonyms for hope include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, and optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful.
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Advice for Leaders

Flexibility will garner better results. You don’t need to make every decision.
Show grace under pressure. If people call you sensitive, thank them.

It's better than being insensitive.

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
Oprah Winfrey

Don't let job titles get in your way. Trust your gut.
Don't play favorites.

Resist the temptation to take all the credit.
Fall seven times, stand up eight. (Proverb)

A short no is often preferred over a long maybe.
Bury the past. Laugh at least once a day.

We acquire the strength we have overcome.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t hesitate this time. Be honest about your efforts.
No is a perfectly acceptable response.

Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress.
Richard Branson

Balance confidence with competence.
Self-doubt serves no one. Own your decisions.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
Dalai Lama

Imagine. Create. Share. Lead.
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Fear Diet

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
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The Bully and Radiohead

I was having breakfast with a great friend and colleague this week and we started talking about how each of us often gets in the way of our own success. Why do we do that? Is it self-sabotage? Is it a fear of failure or success? We humans aren't born with fear; we teach ourselves fear. It's easy to blame outside sources but we have a choice on how we process influences and what to do next.

In a previous chapter of my career, I worked in the radio industry and during the last few years of that, I oversaw the launch of two radio stations from concept to creation and then went on to consult a handful of radio station clients in my consulting work. But I told my friend I'm often visited by a force that seems to hold me back. As I continue my work at an executive recruiter, it's not the candidates or clients who are in my way, it's me!

Voices Inside Your Head

So she put me through an exercise. She said we will call that force - The Bully; and the man who launched radio stations and built teams with confidence, we'll call him Radiohead. She warned me the bully is my comfort zone; my ability to fail without trying because it wasn't meant to be. She said it was a bunch of hot air meaning nothing. She then said whenever the bully shows up, thank him for his time and wish him well and focus back on Radiohead.

You can put your own labels on your life but you have them. There are two strong forces pulling you in opposite directions. One likes it safe so it reminds you to not take bold moves while the other has shown up when you weren't even paying attention because you were so focused on the task at hand.

Say goodbye to the bully and welcome radiohead.
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Faith and Courage

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words

Synonyms for hope include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, and optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful and remain curious.
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Self Worth

Self-doubt can be one of the most destructive and debilitating emotions we possess. It can be difficult to believe in yourself even when those around you believe in you. Something deep inside has convinced you that you aren’t worth it, can’t do it, won’t make it. It’s an emotion most of us feel at one point in our lives.

Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.

Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.


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Humility and Humans

It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.

We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?

Something to Ponder

Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.

Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.

Make time for you to get to know you.
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Scary Monsters

We've heard the old saying; "starve a fever, feed a cold". As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. But perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Look under the bed

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

Recently, I've made some big leaps and some were scary but none guaranteed or easy. But in my gut I knew they had to be made.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said: "Fear is the enemy".
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We're All Afraid

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. But perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, fear is the enemy.
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Smile and Wave

We've heard it our entire life; smile and people will like you better and you'll feel better. Well, sometimes we don't want to smile because we're stressed.

How often do you smile? How important is smiling? How inviting are others when they frown? It may sound like a superficial discussion, but Ron Gutman explains it can affect our success, lifespan, and the quality of our very existence.

Watch and smile.


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Authenticity with You

It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.

We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?

Something to Ponder

Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.

Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.

Make time for you to get to know you.
__________________________________________________________________

Anticipation and Strategy

It’s been often said that hope is not a strategy but I wonder if we should automatically throw it out. Hope pushes us forward; it keeps our minds active toward potential results and solutions. As we get to the end of our lives, regret can be one of the worst emotions we can feel, so as long as there is hope, we can carry on.

This is not to suggest we can survive simply on hope because without effort and action, it will be an empty exercise. However, if we remain hopeful, we will keep trying to find solutions, relationships, business concepts, and career choices.

In Other Words

Synonyms for hope include; confidence, courage, anticipation, faith, and optimism.

If we replace any of those words when we feel we are looking at what we want, perhaps it can change our perspective. And if evidence becomes overwhelming that hope for a certain outcome isn’t going to go our way, we should find strength to keep hope in our minds and hearts for the next time around.

Time gives us experience and hope gives us life to our dreams, plans, ideas, and relationships. Life can be hard, business can be challenging, and leadership can be a struggle. If we keep our hope at the forefront, we can take our experiences and passions forward when circumstances don’t go our way.

Let's stay hopeful and remain curious.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

It’s Only True if You Believe It

Self-doubt can be one of the most destructive and debilitating emotions we possess. It can be difficult to believe in yourself even when those around you believe in you. Something deep inside has convinced you that you aren’t worth it, can’t do it, won’t make it. It’s an emotion most of us feel at one point in our lives.

Some have it briefly from time to time or in certain situations while others feel the paralyzing fear that stops them from moving forward. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, it becomes their comfort zone.

Dr. BJ Davis was a two-time convict. He lived a world of drug abuse and despair. His life was going nowhere. Give yourself 14 minutes to watch this.

And find out what happened next.


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit