Deciding to Decide

We make decisions all day long. Most are easy. What to eat; which route to take; whether to answer that email now or later. Then there are the decisions that stay with us - the ones we discuss with people we trust and sometimes avoid altogether. We often expect decisions to come with certainty. They don't.

Important decisions are made without having all the information or knowing exactly what will happen. At some point, we have to make the best decision we can with what we know. I've made plenty of decisions in my life that I may make differently today. I'm sure you can make that claim as well. That's not regret; it's experience.

Time vs Avoid 

Sometimes we need more information. Sometimes we're simply afraid of being wrong. Not making a decision is still a decision. Staying in the same job; hoping the relationship that isn't working suddenly works; or continuing down a road we know isn't going to end well, has consequences.

Good decisions aren't always popular. Sometimes we have to say no, change direction, walk away, or admit we were wrong. The important part is owning the decision. If it works, learn from it. If it doesn't, learn from that too. Blaming someone else doesn't make us better at making decisions. We don't need to get every decision right. There's rarely a perfect decision. It's also the most frustrating.

 Now, what's for lunch?

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Quiet Confidence

We tend to picture the loudest person in the room - the one with all the answers, who never seems nervous or doubts a decision as the most confident. Real confidence is much quieter. What's the saying? No one likes a know-it-all?

It's speaking up when we have something worth saying while being comfortable enough to listen when someone else has a better idea. It's admitting we don't know everything and asking questions instead of pretending we do. 

Easier said than done 

There are more days than not when I don't feel confident. There are moments when I question myself; second-guess decisions; and wonder if I'm doing enough. I think many people feel that way, but we rarely talk about it. We see confidence in others because we see the outside; not the doubts and uncertainty behind the scenes. 

I've met people with impressive titles who had very little confidence. I've also met people with no title who carried themselves with certainty. I often mistake confidence with arrogance. I don't do well with bragging loudmouths, so maybe I overcompensate? 

 Shape not define 

When we're younger, we often look for approval. Over time, we learn confidence comes from within. It has less to do with applause and more to do with character. Here's where things go pear shaped. When we're younger, we often have less fear to try new stuff and that dissipates as we age.

Confidence isn't about feeling certain every day. It's about moving forward even on the days when we don't. Maybe that's what confidence really is - not the absence of doubt, but the decision not to let doubt stop us.

Some days we lead; most days we learn. ____________________________________________________________

Advantage: Age

Full disclosure: Despite what my brain thinks, until I catch my reflection in the mirror, I’m not 28 anymore. We live in a culture that celebrates youth and often suggests aging means becoming less relevant. Maybe we have been looking at it the wrong way. The older we get, the more we have seen. 

We have watched trends come and go, experienced success and failure, and learned lessons that cannot be taught in a classroom or replaced by technology. Those experiences create judgment and perspective. In business, there is often an obsession with what is new. 

Age Pivoting

Technology and innovation matter, but the strongest organizations combine ideas with the wisdom that comes from understanding people and challenges. Artificial intelligence is a perfect example. AI can improve efficiency, but it cannot replace human experience. It does not understand relationships, leadership, or empathy. And I don't know about your experience, but I've discovered it's often wrong. 

Technology provides information, but experience helps determine what matters. I don't think the goal is to stay young forever - it's to stay curious forever. Getting older is inevitable; becoming irrelevant is a choice. Aging is not the end of the story; it is where age becomes one of our greatest advantages. 

Experience matters.

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Quiet the Critic

Self‑doubt has always been one of my biggest challenges. Even when things seem on track, I catch myself hesitating or wondering if I’m really capable. Self-doubt shows up in big decisions, creative work, or even everyday choices. 

Up to 85% of people feel like imposters at some point. A 2020 study in Personality and Individual Differences found frequent social comparison fuels hesitation. Recognizing this helps us notice patterns and adjust before it slows us down. Easier said than done.

Small Wins Matter 

Breaking big goals into smaller steps - called “success scaffolding” - is surprisingly effective. A 2018 Journal of Experimental Social Psychology study showed celebrating tiny wins boosts confidence and reduces anxiety. Tracking small milestones makes even big challenges feel manageable and builds momentum. The way you speak to yourself sets the tone for what you achieve. 

Clinical Psychological Science found neutral, compassionate self-talk (“I can figure this out” instead of “I always fail”) strengthens resilience. Catching negative thoughts and reframing them - even out loud—helps you respond differently under pressure. 

Track and Interrupt Patterns 

Logging moments of self-doubt helps you spot triggers like perfectionism or looming deadlines. Awareness turns automatic hesitation into intentional action, giving you the power to act instead of freeze. 

Small wins, kinder self-talk, pattern tracking, and leaning on constructive feedback help you move forward despite doubt. It’s not about being fearless - it’s about choosing progress over fear and trusting yourself along the way. 

 Sometimes we have to build confidence.

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What's For Dinner?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

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Change is Gonna Come ...For You

Change is a concept that seems to drive us, win elections, looks great on a coffee mug, and creates stress. 

We hear the word and feel two immediate and visceral responses: things will improve for us and everyone will need to change but us. Things need to change; I'm fine!

 We love the idea of it; the cozy non-committal nature of talking about it. It's as if the world was covered in magic dust and all is well. "They need to change." "We need to bring about change." "Change is gonna come." It all sounds so good. 

 Someday does not appear on the calendar 

 To most, change is about control and standing still while others make the shift. You may be one who thrives on change but be careful when you want to instill it on others. They too may like the theory but will define it to fit their own convenience. 

Who among us admits to be part of the problem? We want things to change but often under our rules and our guidelines. And whenever you include anything or anyone outside of your own mind, the grip must be loosened or collaboration is a challenge. 

 Actual change verses talking about change is the key.

Want Next What

You've said it; you’ve heard it; you’ve been asked it - what do you want? It’s a huge question and most of us have a list. It’s too much to ask. I want to be financially stable. I want a puppy. I want to have millions. I want to retire. I want to live in a lakefront mansion and sip iced tea all day.

We all dream of winning the lottery. We all let our minds wander to places where we perceive our problems will vanish and life will be endless bliss. It's like the old story of the nine year old boy who is once asked; "So Sam, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and Sam quickly replies; "I wanna be rich!" 

Tougher Done Than Said

It took me years to grasp the concept of the fear of success. It sounded counterintuitive. The fear of failure, to me, is easy to understand. You don't want to fall on your face or run out of money or have to give up things you have your life. The embarrassment of failing is terrible. But, what about our fear of what we will do if what we try actually works? How will you handle the responsibility of that dream coming true?

The marketing genius Seth Godin once challenged that it's easier to fail small. Complaining about the fact we never amount to anything or we're not meant to win or no one ever gives us a break, is way easier than the unwavering persistence required to achieve something we want.

It's Way Too Big

In my opinion, it's easy to say you want a Bugatti Veyron because odds are pretty good it will never happen. It's much more difficult to identify the small shifts we need to make every day to get to the bigger dreams we possess. My business partner and I have been working on a project for close to a year. There are days we wonder if we are out of our minds. But each day, you push a bit more, ask a little bit more, and keep at it. Giving up now will only make us forever wonder what if we had kept going. 

You have dreams. You have things you want to accomplish. You have stuff that may feel a little out of reach. But I'm willing to bet if you suspend those for just today and think about what you could do right now to get what you need right now or your next want, over time, those bigger things will come clearer into focus. 

Let's try that and see what happens.

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Sales for a Day

Yes, we're all in sales, but I'm referring to a career that has defined metrics. You sell, you survive. You don't sell, your commission is affected. You park your laptop on a desk in the “sales department” kind of sales. You have numbers you need to hit this quarter, kind of sales. You eat what you kill, kind of sales. It's one thing for your performance to be measured by how you do your job. It's much different to be judged by the actual money you actually bring in the actual door. 

Sales is the transference of trust, so you must build strong relationships. Sales can be a grind and not for those with delicate digestive tracts. It's common for those not in sales to think the sales department will do anything for a buck. After all, they are rewarded in their pay stubs if they sell more stuff. That couldn't be farther from the truth. If you don't respect and believe in what you're selling, making numbers will be a guess at best. 

Numbers and People 

I've spent almost twenty years of my career selling myself long before selling any product or service. That isn't an easy process and the self-ringing phone has yet to be invented. Sales is not easy, but if you have the right product or service, and most importantly, support of your team and management, it can be exciting and rewarding. 

To those in sales, you have my upmost gratitude and respect. To those who are not in a sales role, I have an idea for you – try it for just one day.

You will gain a entire new perspective.

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Mindful Nothing

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. He is a Clinical Meditation Consultant and former Buddhist monk.

For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world. He became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


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Would You Like Fear with That?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
__________________________________________________________________

The Only Constant

Change is a concept that seems to drive us, win elections, looks great on a t-shirt, and creates stress. We hear the word and feel two immediate and visceral responses: things will improve for us and everyone will need to change but us. Things need to change around here, but I'm fine!

We love the idea of it; the cozy non-committal nature of talking about it. It's as if the world was covered in magic dust and all is well. "They need to change." "We need to bring about change." "Change is gonna come." It all sounds so good, doesn't it?

Someday does not appear on the calendar

To most, change is about control and standing still while others make the shift. You may be one who thrives on change but be careful when you want to instill it on others. They too may like the theory but will define it to fit their own convenience. Who among us admits to be part of the problem?

We want things to change but often under our rules and our guidelines. And whenever you include anything or anyone outside of your own mind, the grip must be loosened or collaboration becomes a challenge. 

Actual change verses talking about change is the key. __________________________________________________________________

Your Next Want

You've said it; you’ve heard it; you’ve been asked it - what do you want? It’s a huge question and most of us have a list. It’s too much to ask. I want to be financially stable. I want a puppy. I want to have millions. I want to retire. I want to live in a lakefront mansion and sip iced tea all day.

We all dream of winning the lottery. We all let our minds wander to places where we perceive our problems will vanish and life will be endless bliss. It's like the old story of the nine year old boy who is once asked; "So Sam, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and Sam quickly replies; "I wanna be rich!" 

Tougher Done Than Said

It took me years to grasp the concept of the fear of success. It sounded counterintuitive. The fear of failure, to me, is easy to understand. You don't want to fall on your face or run out of money or have to give up things you have your life. The embarrassment of failing is terrible. But, what about our fear of what we will do if what we try actually works? How will you handle the responsibility of that dream coming true?

The marketing genius Seth Godin once challenged that it's easier to fail small. Complaining about the fact we never amount to anything or we're not meant to win or no one ever gives us a break, is way easier than the unwavering persistence required to achieve something we want.

It's Way Too Big

In my opinion, it's easy to say you want a Bugatti Veyron because odds are pretty good it will never happen. It's much more difficult to identify the small shifts we need to make every day to get to the bigger dreams we possess. My business partner and I have been working on a project for close to a year. There are days we wonder if we are out of our minds. But each day, you push a bit more, ask a little bit more, and keep at it. Giving up now will only make us forever wonder what if we had kept going. 

You have dreams. You have things you want to accomplish. You have stuff that may feel a little out of reach. But I'm willing to bet if you suspend those for just today and think about what you could do right now to get what you need right now or your next want, over time, those bigger things will come clearer into focus. 

Let's try that and see what happens.

__________________________________________________________________

Doing Nothing

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. He is a Clinical Meditation Consultant and former Buddhist monk.

For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world. He became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


__________________________________________________________________

Service Leader

The topic of what makes a great leader has been debated since we humans could say the word. When you think of the values a mentor has brought to you, it's often those intangible aspects which are more difficult to define.

In business, it's tough to be thrown into a new role when you may be good at the work but not as well versed at the people part. It’s easy to point to those who have handled leadership with grace but it's not a skill you learn in short order. And it can certainly be a balancing act when the company continually reminds you profit is the goal.

Fear can be why strong leadership is often as rare as great customer service.
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Fear Diet

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said; "Fear is the enemy."
__________________________________________________________________

Comparables

Not many of us human types get up in the morning to focus on failing. We do our best, we learn each day, we try a little harder, we get a little smarter, and we focus a bit more on being successful. Whatever that means to each of us. One of our worst measurements of success is comparing ourselves to others.

She has a better gig, he has a nicer car, they have a better life. Most of us have fallen into the trap but the key is to stay focused on what success means to each of us. But we get stuck, meet resistance, and sometimes get in our own way.

Richard St. John has been teaching his principles since he learned the hard way. The concept may be simple but it requires determination and a lifetime of focus to execute.


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Make or Become Different

Change is a concept that seems to drive us, win elections, looks great on a t-shirt, and creates stress. We hear the word and feel two immediate and visceral responses: things will improve for us and everyone will need to change but us. Things need to change around here, but I'm fine!

We love the idea of it; the cozy non-committal nature of talking about it. It's as if the world was covered in magic dust and all is well. "They need to change." "We need to bring about change." "Change is gonna come." It all sounds so good, doesn't it?

Someday does not appear on the calendar

To most, change is about control and standing still while others make the shift. You may be one who thrives on change but be careful when you want to instill it on others. They too may like the theory but will define it to fit their own convenience. Who among us admits to be part of the problem?

We want things to change but often under our rules and our guidelines. And whenever you include anything or anyone outside of your own mind, the grip must be loosened or collaboration becomes a challenge.

Actual change verses talking about change is the key.
__________________________________________________________________

Imagine and Dream

Money and time have been the hurdles to pushing through that big idea you've had for far too long. Imagine for a moment both evaporate and you are free to act.

Every time you want to say "not", imagine for a moment you change it to "why not".

The dream was long given up on because there was no way you would be able to pull it off. People like you don't follow their dreams, you're responsible and practical. That stuff happens to other people. Imagine for a moment the story you've been telling yourself for years simply because it was easier than trying. And you take the first step.

You take one item from your wish list and put it on your action list. Imagine for a moment you take one item on your action list and get it done.

Just a thought.
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Let's Make Some Trouble

Mignon McLaughlin was an American journalist and author. In the 1950s she began publishing aphorisms - a pithy observation that contains a general truth.

My favorite was; "Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers."

We do look at those who blazed a path before us with admiration but how often do we grasp the uphill climb each had to endure? It's not easy to share a new idea until it’s adopted by others. But without the bravery to share it, the idea goes nowhere.

Lead first

Leonardo da Vinci, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Benjamin Franklin, Marie Curie, Elon Musk, Susan B. Anthony, Les Paul, Sally Ride, Louis Pasteur, Kathryn Bigelow, Thomas Edison, Margaret Thatcher, Johannes Gutenberg, Florence Nightingale, Alfred Nobel, Steve Jobs, the list goes on and on. These people didn't play it safe but they certainly didn't succeed without struggles.

Doing what is safe and what others may agree with is adhering to a matrix each of us hold as a manufactured line that’s not to be crossed. We've all done it.

Are You Ready?

You're sitting on an idea right now that you keep trying to find the guts to share. It's not easy, we all know. But it's necessary to fight those fears and doubts or you might end up being - to paraphrase McLaughlin's quote - a dead conformist.

Let's take one small step toward sharing our ideas, pushing ourselves past our fears, and seeing what happens. Regret is a horrible emotion we have all experienced.

It's even worse than failure.
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Leadership is Not Easy

The topic of what makes a great leader has been debated since we humans could say the word. When you think of the values a mentor has brought to you, it's often those intangible aspects which are more difficult to define.

In business, it's tough to be thrown into a new role when you may be good at the work but not as well versed at the people part. It’s easy to point to those who have handled leadership with grace but it's not a skill you learn in short order. And it can certainly be a balancing act when the company continually reminds you profit is the goal.

Fear can be why strong leadership is often as rare as great customer service.
__________________________________________________________________