Know Care Want

You do it; I do it; everyone does it. We have stuff we want or need to do and we find every excuse available not to do it. In my coaching days, after some self-reflection, I came up with three motivating factors that I seem to slip into when faced with this issue and those are; want, know, or care. 

I know salad is better for me than onion rings but I don't always pick salad. I could learn how to change the oil in my car, but I don't want to so I get the oil place to do it. I may know how to clean a bathroom, which I've done a thousand times, but I don't care to do it even though I do.

This TEDTalk is from a bunch of years ago and it rings just as true as when it was first published. Mel Robbins makes a bold proclamation which is absolutely dead on true. 

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The Bully and Radiohead

I was having breakfast with a great friend and colleague this week and we started talking about how each of us often gets in the way of our own success. Why do we do that? Is it self-sabotage? Is it a fear of failure or success? We humans aren't born with fear; we teach ourselves fear. It's easy to blame outside sources but we have a choice on how we process influences and what to do next.

In a previous chapter of my career, I worked in the radio industry and during the last few years of that, I oversaw the launch of two radio stations from concept to creation and then went on to consult a handful of radio station clients in my consulting work. But I told my friend I'm often visited by a force that seems to hold me back. As I continue my work at an executive recruiter, it's not the candidates or clients who are in my way, it's me!

Voices Inside Your Head

So she put me through an exercise. She said we will call that force - The Bully; and the man who launched radio stations and built teams with confidence, we'll call him Radiohead. She warned me the bully is my comfort zone; my ability to fail without trying because it wasn't meant to be. She said it was a bunch of hot air meaning nothing. She then said whenever the bully shows up, thank him for his time and wish him well and focus back on Radiohead.

You can put your own labels on your life but you have them. There are two strong forces pulling you in opposite directions. One likes it safe so it reminds you to not take bold moves while the other has shown up when you weren't even paying attention because you were so focused on the task at hand.

Say goodbye to the bully and welcome radiohead.
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Consciousness Streaming

Take from the past what you want and leave the rest. Rest assured you can do what you set your mind on accomplishing. Accomplishments are not just monetary.

Money and relationships are not related. Relating to those around you can help you better understand yourself. Selfishness does not have to come at the expense of others. Other points of view can often help clear your path.

Pathways to success are rarely straight. Straightening your focus is a daily exercise. Exercise your right to your own success. Succeeding is measured by your standards and those who matter won't mind.

Mindfulness can calm the storm. Storm in and take control of your life.

Life is finite; let's live it.
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Humility and Humans

It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.

We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?

Something to Ponder

Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.

Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.

Make time for you to get to know you.
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Cleaning the Records

Back in January, I had the privilege of speaking at TEDxGuelphU. The theme of the day was "From Theory to Reality". It was a humbling experience because it wasn't a workshop or a conference about business or leadership or marketing; it was TED, which meant it wasn't about selling wares or boasting about accomplishments or sharing an idea in a work environment.

TED is about an idea worth spreading and a chance to share your experience on the hope it will give audience members something to apply to or think about in their lives. In my talk, I share three theories and the roller coaster ride along the way.


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Pray. Don't Eat. Fail.Try Again.

We've heard it, read it, thought it, shared it, and known it for most of our lives. It takes time to be successful at anything. A lot of time. And work. No one gets to be successful without scars to prove their journey. We all get smacked on the side of the head when we least expect it and life isn't always chocolates and rainbows.

It took you a while to get good at what you do now. But are you doing what you truly love? Are you doing something that you love more than you love yourself? Have you found your purpose? How do you define what success means to you?

Imagine your work becomes world renowned

You could become Barton Fink – the fictional character who suffers debilitating writer’s block trying to recreate your success – or you could be Elizabeth Gilbert.

In 2006, Gilbert wrote Eat Pray Love that spent 199 weeks on the New York Times best seller list, became a movie in 2010, and made her a success beyond the dreams of most writers. Then she had two choices and explains how failure can mean success.


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Just Say No

Just say no to accepting the past will repeat.
Just say no when you hear that negative self-talk.

Just say no to naysayers. Just say no to those who reject you.

Just say no to giving up. Just say no when you think you can't.
Just say no to letting go of your dream.

Just say no to letting setbacks stop you. Just say no to distractions.
Just say no to sharing your ideas with negative people.

Just say no to fear. Just say no to doubt. Just say no to stopping.

Just say no to being hard on yourself.
Just say no to disbelieving your ideas matter.

Just say no to avoiding asking others for help.
Just say no to average. Just say no to excuses.

Just say no to thinking it won't get better.
Just say no to people who hold you back.
Just so not to procrastinating.

Just say no to accepting you can't do it.
Just say no to emotional vampires.

Just say no to thinking mistakes define you.
Just say no to comparing yourself to others.
Just say no to not shipping your art.
Just say no to letting yourself stop following your dream

Let's just say yes we can and will.
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Authenticity with You

It looks great in a book or tweet; set against an inspiring backdrop framed on your wall; or on a coffee cup, but being authentic isn’t easy. We often don't make time to be completely ourselves. Busy at work, busy at home, busy being busy.

We work on relationships all day long but rarely take a moment to figure out who we are in our lives. Synonyms include; reliable, trustworthy, accurate, and genuine. That seems simple enough until we let the harmful self-talk or influence of others get in our way. What could be so difficult in being reliable or dependable or genuine?

Something to Ponder

Intelligent labor is writing a book; manual labor is building a fence; emotional labor is something most of us spend very little time on. I've had it backwards my whole life that if we stand up for ourselves or say we're good at something, we're not being arrogant.

Confidence is okay and it doesn't mean we're bragging. Taking some for you is allowed. So celebrate what you do well and perhaps you'll find a way to dig deeper to figure out what you want, need, and stand for in all this chaos we call life.

Make time for you to get to know you.
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Resolutions Begone

The year is ending, the reflections continuing, and the resolutions compiling. I wonder why we don't pick the middle of April or the second week of September to do this, but this when we seem to build a big list of will stop, start doing, do less, do more, etc.

There are ample data to show we don't really intend to keep most - if any - of our new year's resolutions. We mean well, but we're completely full of crap. If we wanted to cut down on beer, we can do that on May 17th or decide October 19th is a good time to start going to the gym.

Here's a thought...

Take a few minutes and dream; let yourself go. What do you really want to do in 2016 you have always wanted to try but never had the balls do to it? It doesn't have to cost a bunch of money or take a lot of time, but something completely for you.

Forget judgement or anyone's opinion. One thing that you honestly want to do and will commit to doing it. It can have absolutely nothing to do with your work or family or friends or anyone else. Or we could all make a bunch of empty promises we won't keep in a champagne haze at midnight like we do every year.

That seems to work never.
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As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience as a business advisor and project manager in numerous industries and organizations including; human resources, corporate training, financial services, media, real estate, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting leaders who want to improve their bottom line through strong culture and leadership. knealemann@gmail.com

Reflecting

I hope this year has brought you challenges you overcame. It's my wish that new people arrived in your life to help and love you. Thank you for taking a moment to visit. I am continually blown away by how people many visit from all over the world.

It has always been my goal to simply share ideas here and fascinating relationships have happened that wouldn't have grown in a hundred lifetimes otherwise.

Moving Forward

We live busy lives leaving virtually no time to think of what we want, how we want to live, or create a more enjoyable journey. This year I worked more on me than my work. I was clearing the rubble. The dust has cleared and it's time to get back to work. Excuses begone, the past has passed.

My career goals continue to be helping people enjoy their work and for teams and companies to do more business through strong leadership and culture. In common terms, the biggest issue with most companies is it sucks at work. The boss is an ass or that department isn't cooperating or a myriad other solvable issues that will improve the bottom line and help employees like their jobs again. That's what I enjoy helping.

Life Meets Life

As I look toward 2016, I am thrilled to be able to speak at a TEDx event, work with a local Chamber of Commerce on a cost of leadership workshop, continue working on my first book, reach out and create new friendships and client relationships, and cherish that you came by to visit.

I'm an email away and always happy to meet new people. So let's chat. Here's to a fantastic, adventurous, challenge overcoming, personal growth 2016 for you and me.

Cheers!
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As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience as a business advisor and project manager in numerous industries and organizations including; human resources, corporate training, financial services, media, real estate, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting leaders who want to improve their bottom line through strong culture and leadership. knealemann@gmail.com

It Takes Ten Seconds

It takes ten seconds to let them into your lane.
It takes ten seconds to say I love you.

It takes ten seconds to lose a friend.
It takes ten seconds to open your heart to a new friend.
It takes ten seconds to have that last sip of coffee.
It takes ten seconds to ask the question.

It takes ten seconds to send that text that could brighten their day.
It takes ten seconds to make it right.

It takes ten seconds to let them finish.
It takes ten seconds to make the call.
It takes ten seconds to speak your truth.

It takes ten seconds to breathe before your presentation.
It takes ten seconds to forgive them.

It takes ten seconds to wait ten seconds before making the decision.

It takes ten seconds to mean it.
It takes ten seconds to stop talking long enough to let them talk.
It takes ten seconds to figure it out.
It takes ten seconds to care.

It takes ten seconds to remove judgement.
It takes ten seconds to understand.

It takes ten seconds to grab their hand.
It takes ten seconds to apologize.
It takes ten seconds to see it.
It takes ten seconds to help a friend.

It takes ten seconds to change your career path.
It takes ten seconds to say yes.
It takes ten seconds to show compassion.

It takes ten seconds to enjoy.
It takes ten seconds to not be so hard on yourself.

It takes ten seconds to change someone’s life.
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As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience in project management, leadership development, business, marketing, media, and talent coaching in numerous industries and organizations including; radio, digital marketing, corporate training, real estate, financial services, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting companies and organizations who want to become even greater.

Listening to Our Shame

The medical industry will tell us that stress is a killer. We worry and fret over money, our jobs, marriages, future, the list is long. The vibration of fear is around us constantly. It’s never enough; it needs to be more.

As I look closer at my own life path, I am seeing shame and judgement come up a lot and as I dig deeper, it seems to come up almost as much as stress. What is that? Well, it’s two things; fear of judgement from others and fear of judgement from ourselves. Humans are the only creatures who look back at our pasts and toward our futures, often to the detriment of our present.

I’ve had a blessed life, a fascinating career, and my share of difficult situations. Yet it’s those challenges I’ve been focused on which hold me back. That meeting went too long, I talk too fast, I should have, I didn’t, I wish I hadn’t, I didn’t make enough eye contact, I talked too much, etc.

My dad said it on a call this week; “How do your clients even know what you’re talking about, you talk too fast”. Thanks for the judgement, dad. I’ll carry that around for the next week. Actually, saying it then publishing it here is part of my journey of shedding the judgement of others, even my father.

We damage each other with our judgement; we crush ourselves with the same.

In 2011, Brené Brown shared her findings about topics we don't often like to talk about with her TEDTalk on the Power of Vulnerability. Here’s her 2012 talk about the unspoken epidemic of shame.

Be brave and watch this.


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As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience in project management, leadership development, business, marketing, media, and talent coaching in numerous industries and organizations including; radio, digital marketing, corporate training, real estate, financial services, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting companies and organizations who want to become even greater.

More Streams of Subconsciousness

Take from the past what you want and leave the rest. Rest assured you can do what you set your mind on accomplishing. Accomplishments are not just monetary.

Money and relationships are not related. Relating to those around you can help you better understand yourself. Selfishness does not have to come at the expense of others. Other points of view can often help clear your path.

Pathways to success are rarely straight. Straightening your focus is a daily exercise. Exercise your right to your own success. Succeeding is measured by your standards and those who matter won't mind.

Mindfulness can calm the storm. Storm in and take control of your life.

Life is finite, let's live it.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

Detached From the Outcome

You really want the job. You are qualified, the phone screen call went well, you nailed the first interview, and waiting for the results of the second. You can hardly sleep. You know it’s yours. And then the call comes in – they made another choice, they picked someone else, you didn't get the gig.

Sure you’re upset, but is your desire for the position any different now because you didn't get it? On the surface, you may begin to poke holes in the company, how dare they be so stupid, they made the wrong choice, and actually you didn't want that job anyway, you’re way better off without it.

Attached to the outcome

The reasons you applied in the first place suddenly shift because of their decision. But if you look harder and ask yourself one deep honest question, you may understand something important. Are the reasons you went for it still valid?

This is hard work. We want what we want when we want it, but as you and I know, sometimes it doesn't go our way. The job, the relationship, the car loan, the fill in the blank. We go for it yet don’t get it. Do we keep going for it elsewhere or give up?

I have been writing on this site since 2008 with no need to know who reads the content. It's not for any other reason than to share my thoughts and write. I'm detached from the outcome. It has created some incredible personal and professional relationships along the way but it's still not the reason I'm here.

Keep making goals and dreams

If we are authentic and honest about what we want, the outcome may still go our way. In fact, most of the time it will. But it's hard not to try and force the result.

It’s much tougher with people we care about but no one can be told how to feel or what to do without their permission. So being secure in how we feel is detached from their response. It’s clearly easier said than done.

Something to think about the next time we wonder if the results are tied to our goals.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

aspire

Changes

It may win an election. It looks good on a coffee mug. It gives us hope for better results. But what does change really mean to you and me? Some say we don’t mind change but we don’t want to be changed. It’s perhaps easier to point to large events in our lives as change but we are constantly changing.

Change is inevitable, the only constant is change, we’ve heard it our whole lives. But how often do we let external forces create the change rather than knowing we have more control than we allow?

Despite the effort of our conscious minds – thinking, hoping, fretting, and trying – our subconscious only measures our actions and pulls us back into our (often not so comfortable) comfort zone.

Some other thoughts on the topic.

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.
W. Edwards Deming

You can do anything you choose to do.
Maya Angelou

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.
Victor Frankl

When in doubt, choose change.
Lily Leung

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.
Denis Waitley

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Harrison Ford

How can you know what you're capable of if you don't embrace the unknown?
Esmeralda Santiago

When you are through changing, you are through.
Bruce Barton

The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.
Japanese Proverb

You have to speak your dream out loud.
Kelly Corrigan

Our only security is our ability to change.
John Lilly

The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it,
move with it, and join the dance.
Alan Watts

No heart has suffered when it goes in search of its dream.
Paulo Coelho

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
Jim Rohn

If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is,
I believe in tomorrow and I will be a part of it.
Linda Ellerbee

If you live the questions, life will move you into the answers.
Deepak Chopra

People underestimate their capacity for change.
There is never a right time to do a difficult thing.
John Porter

To exist is to change, to change is to mature,
To mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
Henri Bergson

When you're trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact you're even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.
Alice Domar

I still don't know what I was waiting for and my time was running wild.
David Bowie

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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

david bowie | istock

Ideas and Action

I was sifting through some older pieces this week as I prepare drafts for my first book and saw this post that reminded me of a lot of things going on in my life – perhaps in yours too.

Money and time have been the hurdles to pushing through that big idea you've had for far too long. Imagine for a moment both evaporate and you are free to act.

Every time you want to say "not", imagine for a moment you change it to "why not". Imagine for a moment the story you've been telling yourself for years was simply because it was easier than trying. And you take the first step. Imagine for a moment you take one item on your wish list and get it done.

If we stop ourselves, we steal our own energy. If we allow others to stop us, we surrender our energy. Get quiet, think deep, and get to the core of what you want. Then get to it. The past has passed, we have far too much to get done.

Let's get back to work.
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Kneale Mann | Leadership and management consultant helping leaders, teams, and companies get clear on their goals and results.

mostlymuskegon

This Time of Year

Summer has arrived in North America where I live and the tone of client conversations is changing. People seem a bit more relaxed and happy. Void of data, I can assume after a long hard winter, most are looking forward to some vacation time, time to unplug, time for family and friends, time without deadlines and email.

I know I live a privileged life. Like you, I have plenty of challenges and setbacks, but if perspective is kept in clear view, it’s a pretty good ride. But if we don’t take time away from work, our work will suffer. If we don’t unplug and step away, we will burn out. And if we never take time for life, well, you know the result.

Turn it Off

What would happen if you didn't check email for a day or attend a meeting tomorrow or not return that call until next week? The sun will come up, life will go on, and in fact, you may even be more rested and sharper to deal with deadlines after some time away.

Now add in the feelings you get when you are about to take some vacation time or when you’re away enjoying that thing called life. That’s the imperative ingredient to bring back with your new suntan.

Now go enjoy some time off, you've earned it!
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Kneale Mann | Leadership Strategist, consultant, writer, speaker, executive coach facilitating performance growth with leaders, management, and teams.

forbes

Fail. Create. Succeed.

We've heard it, read it, thought it, shared it, and known it for most of our lives. It takes time to be successful at anything. A lot of time. And work.

It took you a while to get good at what you do now. But are you doing what you truly love? Are you doing something that you love more than you love yourself? Have you found your purpose? How do you define what success means to you?

Imagine your work becomes world renowned

You could become Barton Fink – the fictional character who suffers debilitating writer’s block trying to recreate your success – or you could be Elizabeth Gilbert.

In 2006, Gilbert wrote Eat Pray Love that spent 199 weeks on the New York Times best seller list, became a movie in 2010, and made her a success beyond the dreams of most writers. Then she had two choices and explains how failure can mean success.


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Kneale Mann | Leadership Strategist, consultant, writer, speaker, executive coach facilitating performance growth with leaders, management, and teams.

TED | Elizabeth Gilbert

Push Beyond Your Limits

There have been moments in your life when you felt you didn’t have the answer. Conversely, there have been times when you allowed yourself to dream, if only for a moment, about what you wanted in your life, your career, your family or your lifestyle. And perhaps you paused. Then went back to what you thought was reality.

Caroline Casey was a global management consultant and changed it all to create her not-for-profit organization Kanchi. She discusses leadership, disabilities, elephants and how we must push beyond our limits and accomplish more.


Kneale Mann

caroline casey | TED

Are You Committed to Your Future Self?

We all know we’re going to die. We all know, if we live long enough, we will get old. We make decisions every day which will affect our future. Daniel Goldstein explains how our decisions today will affect our tomorrow. What decisions will you make today in your life, your business and your leadership of others?

Daniel explains our struggle between our present and future 


Kneale Mann

visual credit: TED | Daniel Goldstein