Know Care Want

You do it; I do it; everyone does it. We have stuff we want or need to do and we find every excuse available not to do it. In my coaching days, after some self-reflection, I came up with three motivating factors that I seem to slip into when faced with this issue and those are; want, know, or care. 

I know salad is better for me than onion rings but I don't always pick salad. I could learn how to change the oil in my car, but I don't want to so I get the oil place to do it. I may know how to clean a bathroom, which I've done a thousand times, but I don't care to do it even though I do.

This TEDTalk is from a bunch of years ago and it rings just as true as when it was first published. Mel Robbins makes a bold proclamation which is absolutely dead on true. 

_________________________________________________________________

You Don't Know

As leaders, they can be the three most powerful words you can say. Some may feel it shows weakness but I’m of the belief it shows tremendous strength. A job title doesn’t make you perfect. Do you think Richard Branson pretends he knows everything? Is it possible that Oprah Winfrey had some help along the way?

"I don’t know" can be tough to say when you are told to lead others. After all, the company believes in you enough to put you in the position to make these decisions but that doesn't mean you can't get things done, motivate your team, and create a more social business with openness.

The Human Org Chart

"I don’t know" to some, may appear indecisive. Some fear it may show investors the company is on shaky ground. But leaders who show they rely on their entire team for ideas and solutions can build a stronger foundation than those who get out the pom poms during good times and hide during challenges.

It’s clear that some feel they must appear infallible once gaining a leadership position but since the rest of the room knows it’s not the case, a pay stub every two weeks is hardly a strong enough strategy to keep your best people. Asking for feedback, opinions, and ideas strengthens your team.

You won't always know and that's the point.
__________________________________________________________________

Know. Want. Care.

I don’t know how to change the oil in my car. I’m sure I could figure it out but I don’t actually want to know and don’t much care to learn. So the fact I don’t know how is irrelevant. You may not know how to fly a 747 jet but you may have the aptitude and even the interest to take the years of school and training required to learn. So the fact you don’t know is replaced by the desired to find out.

In my work, a manager may say to me; “I don’t know how to navigate all the different personalities on my team”, but she may add that she wants to learn. What’s important is not that she doesn’t know how, but that she has the desire to figure it out.

Do you know, want, or care?

We can read books and articles about the brave who have made bold moves in their lives. We are impressed by their fortitude but when relating it to something in our own lives, it may not seem so simple.

The three motivating factors for most of what we do in our lives is whether we know how to, want to, or care to. Simple to say, not always easy to do, but not knowing how to do something may not be the end result.

Mean what you want

A friend of mine recently shared a situation in his life where a relationship isn’t going so well. He is frustrated and says he doesn’t know how to change it. I asked him one simple question – do you want to find out how to change it? He said is isn’t sure. That may sound odd but it makes sense.

We get caught in situations and they become our comfort zone and we play out all the scenarios of what could happen if we made changes and we get stuck. So his desire to change it, is still unclear. The fact he doesn't know how, almost becomes irrelevant.

Discovering whether we want or care is critical.
__________________________________________________________________
Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

You Don’t Have All the Answers

If you've spent enough time in the enterprise, you've met the type of boss who seems compelled to always be right. When mistakes are made, they never seem to be her fault. Things go sideways and he is quick to blame others. But how much does that solve the issues at hand? How much damage is created when that continues to occur?

Think about your participation in group activities. You offer ideas as much as you can. You suggest solutions to the challenges in front of the team. But how much do you continue to do so if the “boss” shoots down your ideas or doesn’t acknowledge your ideas in the first place? It can be demoralizing when the good news is taken by someone else while the bad news is thrown back in your face.

How Can You Help?

"I don’t know" can be tough to say when you are told to lead others. After all, the company believes in you enough to put you in the position to make these decisions but that doesn't mean  you can't get things done, motivate your team and create a more social business with openness.

"I don’t know" to some, may appear indecisive. Some fear it may show investors the company is on shaky ground. But leaders who show they rely on their entire team for ideas and solutions can build a stronger foundation than those who get out the pom poms during good times and hide during challenges.

We don't have all the answers and that's perfect.
__________________________________________________________________
Kneale Mann | Leadership Strategist, consultant, writer, speaker, executive coach facilitating performance growth with leaders, management, and teams.

istock

Leadership: I Don't Know

If you’ve spent enough time in the enterprise, you've met the type of boss who seems compelled to always be right. When mistakes are made, they never seem to be her fault. Things go sideways and he is quick to blame others. But how much does that solve the issues at hand? How much damage is created when that continues to occur?

Think about your participation in group activities. You offer ideas as much as you can. You suggest solutions to the challenges in front of the team. But how much do you continue to do so if the “boss” shoots down your ideas or doesn’t acknowledge your ideas in the first place? It can be demoralizing when the good news is taken by someone else while the bad news is thrown back in your face.

As leaders, the most powerful three words we can utter are: "I don’t know". Some may feel it shows weakness but I’m of the belief it shows tremendous strength. A job title doesn’t make you perfect. Do you think Richard Branson pretends he knows everything? Is it possible that Oprah Winfrey had some help along the way?

You Don’t Have All the Answers

"I don’t know" can be tough to say when you are told to lead others. After all, the company believes in you enough to put you in the position to make these decisions but that doesn't mean  you can't get things done, motivate your team and create a more social business with openness.

"I don’t know" to some, may appear indecisive. Some fear it may show investors the company is on shaky ground. But leaders who show they rely on their entire team for ideas and solutions can build a stronger foundation than those who get out the pom poms during good times and hide during challenges.

The Human Org Chart

I remember a direct report who was quick to take victories but vacant when we began to take on water. It was astounding how he never wore any of the bad news while he was the first to hoist the trophy at the ceremony. Perhaps you know this guy.

It’s clear that some feel they must appear infallible once gaining a leadership position but since the rest of the room knows it’s not the case, a pay stub every two weeks is hardly a strong enough strategy to keep your best people. Asking for feedback, opinions and ideas strengthens your team.

You don't always know and that's okay.    

Kneale Mann

image credit: Japanese symbol for benevolence