Priorities and Aging

I’ve noticed my priorities have changed a lot over the years. What mattered most in my 20s doesn’t carry the same weight today, and I suspect you’ve felt that too. Life has a way of reshaping what feels urgent versus what feels meaningful. What was SO important years ago barely makes a blip now.

Research shows that as we age, our values and goals naturally shift. A 2017 study in Psychology and Aging found that older adults tend to focus more on meaningful experiences and relationships, while younger adults emphasize exploration.

Small Shifts Create Big Clarity

Even small adjustments in priorities can make a big difference. The same study found that people who consciously reflected on what mattered most experienced less stress and greater satisfaction. Taking time to list our top priorities can help us act intentionally instead of reacting to every demand or distraction.

When priorities feel unclear, it helps to ask, “Does this align with what matters most to me?” Research from Developmental Psychology shows that aligning decisions with personal values increases well-being and long-term satisfaction. Pausing to reflect before saying yes to something can save time, energy, and emotional strain.

Patterns Reveal What Matters

Tracking how we spend our time and energy helps us spot what consistently feels rewarding versus draining. Awareness of these patterns allows us to focus on what truly contributes to growth, relationships, and fulfillment, rather than what just seems urgent in the moment.

Even as priorities shift with age, we can stay intentional about what matters most. And what's important today may not be years from now.

Let's make today count.

What? Why? What?

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
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Leader List

Here's a post I found while looking through old notes. This was way before the pandemic so let's see if this is still relevant. 

• Stop hiding behind email
• Don’t avoid difficult conversations and have them with respect and compassion
• Keep meetings to 30 minutes and on topic
• Allow all voices to be heard
• Be clear on expectations
• Don’t play favorites
• Be of service to your team/department/company; not the other way around
• Allow creativity to flourish
• Don’t evade conflict
• Remember every person on the team is just as important as any person
• Hold yourself and others accountable
• Show up when things get difficult
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Count to Four

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
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Race Cars and Rock Stars

When I was a kid, I could entertain myself for hours; sometimes entire days, with my books, music, and toys. I had a good childhood. Then I met my first love which was hockey. I was hooked for the next decade and a half reading books about it, playing whenever and wherever I could. And despite my mother's disappointment, I was never going to be the starting goaltender for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

We were middle middle-class. My folks probably lived paycheck to paycheck most of the time. But they always found a way to put food on the table, pay the bills, and get my sister and I cool gifts at Christmas. Nothing about my life is a story for the ages.

Fender Telecaster and a set of Pilot Sport Cup 2s

There is something strange that humans possess which no other beings experience and that is a yearning for more. Our cat doesn't spend her days wishing she was a panther. She is a content companion who thinks we are awesome because we give her food a few times a day and a comfy place to nap all afternoon.

Sometimes I watch super car channels on YouTube and imagine owning a Bugatti Chiron, but I don't then spend the next two hours being depressed I will never have one. I don't listen to music wishing I was the rock star either. If we're unhappy, money in the bank, adoring fans, and a $3 million hyper car in the garage won't help.

The reason for our unhappiness is often because we can't define what will make us happy instead of looking at what is good in our lives that already brings happiness.

But I will take the Chiron in navy blue, thanks.

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The Big What

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
__________________________________________________________________

Four Questions

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are four questions you can ask yourself and your team.

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
4. What won't you do?
__________________________________________________________________

Unnecessary Noise

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline. To gain clarity, there are three questions you can ask yourself;

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
__________________________________________________________________

Three Questions

We all know we are flawed and make mistakes. We know we don’t have it all figured out. And we know there's work to do. But part of finding clarity is discovering the joy in work rather than the seemingly unattainable finish line.

Clutter makes us nervous and stressed. It can derail us from our goals. Clarity can help us find our baseline and silence some of that unnecessary noise.

To gain clarity, there are three questions you can ask yourself

1. What do you stand for?
2. What will you not do?
3. Why do you do what you do?
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Are You a Good Citizen?

If you visit here regularly, you may have gathered I have deep passion to help managers become stronger leaders and companies to have collaborative culture. There is ample measurable data available to show any naysayer that a happy workplace creates a more profitable enterprise. This is the work we love doing with clients at the Heart of Culture.

Dr. Bret L Simmons is a professor at the University of Reno. We met years ago through Twitter. We have since connected on the phone to discuss our passions for helping people grow, leadership, organizational development, and culture. I look forward to more chats.

His TEDx Reno keynote takes it one critical step forward.  


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Kneale Mann | Leadership and Culture strategist, writer, speaker, executive coach engaging leaders, collaborative teams, and strong business results.

Bret L Simmons | TEDx Reno