Work + Love + Other Life Stuff

It’s often said we should find something we’re passionate about and do it. We'll cool let's do that! Now why are we unhappy again? Oh yeah, because we often have absolutely no idea what are truly passionate about and worse how to even achieve it.

In his book, “Love + Work”, author, speaker, and consultant Marcus Buckingham examines how our lives and our careers are forever intertwined. He writes finding something we love doesn't mean it's going to be nirvana all the time but rather we will find love within it and the challenges will be easier to overcome. Have you ever lost track of time doing something? Yeah that.

Buckingham also reminds us no one will ever be exactly the same as each of us. No one who has ever existed or will ever exist will be exactly like you. Celebrate that.

Perfection is impossible.

We live in woke times. Some have deemed themselves the grand jury of all opinion. Here's the deal, I won't judge you, you don't judge me, and we'll be good. You do stuff you will love most of the time and I'll do that same. I may love auto racing but I won't insult you if you have a passion for flower arranging. It's not my call!

No one has any right to tell you what you think or feel, nor does anyone have the right to tell you what or who you love. Life is not a zero-sum game to be won. As its own name defines, it is living breathing inaccurate flawed experience. Yet for some reason we measure ourselves against perfection.

This is your life. Tell her how you feel. Look for another line of work. Stop letting others decide for you. Love who you want, do what you want, don't let others tell you what's best for you. I'm not proclaiming I don't have that doubtful voice in my head most of the time which I wish would shut up, but let's see if we can shift our thinking together.

That might be a good plan. ____________________________________________________________

Dinner by Committee

If you have worked a day in your life, it is fairly safe to say you have worked alongside others. In some cases, those experiences have been enjoyable while others have not. You may have had to endure an arrogant selfish boss while other situations have been filled with giving collaborative coworkers.

We seem to enjoy looking at things “on paper” but they get all wobbly when we add the human element and often it’s because we are unclear about the mandate. Often there is a struggle among conflicting agendas or someone comes in and plays the “I’m the boss” card. None of these scenarios are effective, productive, or long lasting business success models. However, sadly they are far too common.

But what happens when you ask a group of people to build a structure out of spaghetti, string, and a bag of marshmallows?


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Next on the Want List

You've said it; you’ve heard it; you’ve been asked it - what do you want? It’s a huge question and most of us have a list. It’s too much to ask. I want to be financially stable. I want a puppy. I want to have millions. I want to retire. I want to live in a lakefront mansion and sip iced tea all day.

We all dream of winning the lottery. We all let our minds wander to places where we perceive our problems will vanish and life will be endless bliss. It's like the old story of the nine year old boy who is once asked; "So Sam, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and Sam quickly replies; "I wanna be rich!" 

Tougher Done Than Said

It took me years to grasp the concept of the fear of success. It sounded counterintuitive. The fear of failure, to me, is easy to understand. You don't want to fall on your face or run out of money or have to give up things you have your life. The embarrassment of failing is terrible. But, what about our fear of what we will do if what we try actually works? How will you handle the responsibility of that dream coming true?

The marketing genius Seth Godin once challenged that it's easier to fail small. Complaining about the fact we never amount to anything or we're not meant to win or no one ever gives us a break, is way easier than the unwavering persistence required to achieve something we want.

It's Way Too Big

In my opinion, it's easy to say you want a Bugatti Veyron because odds are pretty good it will never happen. It's much more difficult to identify the small shifts we need to make every day to get to the bigger dreams we possess. My business partner and I have been working on a project for close to a year. There are days we wonder if we are out of our minds. But each day, you push a bit more, ask a little bit more, and keep at it. Giving up now will only make us forever wonder what if we had kept going. 

You have dreams. You have things you want to accomplish. You have stuff that may feel a little out of reach. But I'm willing to bet if you suspend those for just today and think about what you could do right now to get what you need right now or your next want, over time, those bigger things will come clearer into focus. 

Let's try that and see what happens.

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Mindful Nothing

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. He is a Clinical Meditation Consultant and former Buddhist monk.

For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world. He became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


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Engineered Pasta

If you have worked a day in your life, it is fairly safe to say you have worked alongside others. In some cases, those experiences have been enjoyable while others have not. You may have had to endure an arrogant selfish boss while other situations have been filled with giving collaborative coworkers.

We seem to enjoy looking at things “on paper” but they get all wobbly when we add the human element and often it’s because we are unclear about the mandate. Often there is a struggle among conflicting agendas or someone comes in and plays the “I’m the boss” card. None of these scenarios are effective, productive, or long lasting business success models. However, sadly they are far too common.

But what happens when you ask a group of people to build a structure out of spaghetti, string, and a marshmallows?


__________________________________________________________________

Finding Our Thing

It’s often said we should find something we’re passionate about and do it. We'll cool let's do that! Now why are we unhappy again? Oh yeah, because we often have absolutely no idea what are truly passionate about and worse how to even achieve it.  

In his latest book, “Love + Work”, author, speaker, and consultant Marcus Buckingham examines how our lives and our careers are forever intertwined. He writes finding something we love doesn't mean it's going to be nirvana all the time but rather we will find love within it and the challenges will be easier to overcome. Have you ever lost track of time doing something? Yeah that. 

Buckingham also reminds us no one will ever be exactly the same as each of us. No one who has ever existed or will ever exist will be exactly like you. Celebrate that. 

Perfection is impossible.  

We live in woke times. Some have deemed themselves the grand jury of all opinion. Here's the deal, I won't judge you, you don't judge me, and we'll be good. You do stuff you will love most of the time and I'll do that same. I may love auto racing but I won't insult you if you have a passion for flower arranging. It's not my call! 

No one has any right to tell you what you think or feel, nor does anyone have the right to tell you what or who you love. Life is not a zero-sum game to be won. As its own name defines, it is living breathing inaccurate flawed experience. Yet for some reason we measure ourselves against perfection. 

This is your life. Tell her how you feel. Look for another line of work. Stop letting others decide for you. Love who you want, do what you want, don't let others tell you what's best for you. I'm not proclaiming I don't have that doubtful voice in my head most of the time which I wish would shut up, but let's see if we can shift our thinking together.

To me, that sounds like a good plan.

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Checkng the List

I recently found this list I posted back in 2011. If we review, I think we find that all of these are still valid and some are even more important twelve years later.

Read more, skim less. Turn your phone off once in a while. Don't wait for approval. 

Forget the past. Spend more time with people you love. Dream big; do bigger. Be gracious. Make quick decisions. Stop comparing your effort to others. Enjoy the ride.

Stop doing anything that weakens you. Trust yourself. Take a digital day off.

Keep an open mind. Plan ahead then be flexible. Ask for help. Help someone without their knowledge it was you who helped them.

Go for it. Eradicate unnecessary meetings. Eat the cookie. Listen more. Sing often.

Say thank-you. Trust your gut. Make time for think time. Don't wait.

Find the lesson. Keep learning. Thank a friend. Take the nap.

Don’t settle. Collaborate. Consume more funny. Good enough is not good enough.

Be yourself.

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Motivation

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


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Doing Nothing

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. He is a Clinical Meditation Consultant and former Buddhist monk.

For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world. He became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


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Spaghetti and Marshmallows

If you have worked a day in your life, it is fairly safe to say you have worked alongside others. In some cases, those experiences have been enjoyable while others have not. You may have had to endure an arrogant selfish boss while other situations have been filled with giving collaborative coworkers.

We seem to enjoy looking at things “on paper” but they get all wobbly when we add the human element and often it’s because we are unclear about the mandate. Often there is a struggle among conflicting agendas or someone comes in and plays the “I’m the boss” card. None of these scenarios are effective, productive, or long lasting business success models. However, sadly they are far too common.

But what happens when you ask a group of people to build a structure out of spaghetti, string, and a marshmallows?


__________________________________________________________________

Collaboration Meal

If you have worked a day in your life, it is fairly safe to say you have worked alongside others. In some cases, those experiences have been enjoyable while others have not. You may have had to endure an arrogant selfish boss while other situations have been filled with giving collaborative coworkers.

We seem to enjoy looking at things “on paper” but they get all wobbly when we add the human element and often it’s because we are unclear about the mandate. Often there is a struggle among conflicting agendas or someone comes in and plays the “I’m the boss” card. None of these scenarios are effective, productive, or long lasting business success models. However, sadly they are far too common.

But what happens when you take a group of people and ask them to build a structure out of spaghetti, string, and a marshmallow?

Tom Wujec explains.


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Ready?

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her 80's, we're able to have great discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

Now what?

I saw this wonderful quote and it sums up life rather nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
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What Motives You?

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


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What are Your Thoughts?

The late Princeton philosopher and author Walter Kaufmann coined the phrase decidophobia to describe those who would rather leave the deciding to some authority. Kaufmann opined that once a decidophobe relinquishes, they will accept anything argued by that authority. We can call it "the boss is always right" syndrome.

She's a thought leader; he's a thinker; they're the idea team. All crutches we create to stop us from contributing to the process. We all have ideas that are valuable and if you are in a leadership role, open the doors a little wider and let those ideas in because there's brilliance waiting to be seen. Maybe we all can be decidophobes?

Two hundred years ago there was no Internet. A century ago we didn't have interactive technology built into the steering wheels of cars. And unless you share it, we will never enjoy what you have been thinking about which could change the world.

Let’s do big and stop over thinking.
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We Will Never Be Ready

When I was a kid, my parents would try and tell me to enjoy life and not get too caught up in the minutiae, but they did all the time. Now that my mom is in her late 70's, we're able to have wicked discussions about life and her common message remains clear - don't live with regrets. If you want that relationship, go for it. If you want to try that new job, don't wait for an invitation.

This is not a new revelation; we've been saying and reading it our entire lives. The classic; no one will be on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office. But it's deeper than that. It's more than what we do for a paycheck or even better a passion that pays our bills. It's ubiquitous; it doesn't go away after work or on the weekends. It's with us always.

What are we gonna do about it?

I saw this wonderful quote recently from actor Hugh Laurie and it's been rattling around in my grey matter ever since and it sums it up nicely. The question isn't whether we have the guts or time or ability or talent or money to go for it. It's a much deeper yet simpler issue.

“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” Hugh Laurie
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Motivation

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. Is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A new relationship? A new city?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


__________________________________________________________________

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Stop the Busy

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world.

Andy became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


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Sure We Can

We can learn. We can teach. We can hear. We can stop. We can know.
We can act. We can drive. We can grow. We can cry. We can do.

We can switch. We can help. We can call. We can bend. We can try.
We can play. We can like. We can think. We can stretch. We can live.

We can gift. We can swerve. We can go. We can dream. We can touch.

We can move. We can thank. We can shape. We can win. We can fall.
We can lend. We can run. We can draw. We can reach. We can love.

The key may not be whether we can but whether we will.
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What Drives You?

They say we have to do what we're passionate about and what will motivate us. But is that a job? A salary? A promotion? A career change? A location switch? A new relationship? What?

To say we have to follow our passion isn't the entire task. Dan Pink looks at 50 behavioral triggers that motivate us.


__________________________________________________________________

Nothing

We live busy lives often being busy doing busy things with others getting busy on busy tasks. But how often do we take time for think time or better yet, do nothing?

Andy Puddicombe is the co-founder of Headspace, a project that aims to demystify meditation and make it applicable to everyday life. He is a Clinical Meditation Consultant and former Buddhist monk.

For more than a decade, Andy’s meditation training took him all over the world. He became a fully ordained monk at a Tibetan Monastery in the Indian Himalayas. In his TEDTalk, Puddicombe explains the importance of making time to do nothing.


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