Two Wheels and a Trunk

I was thinking about a situation that happened a couple of years ago that sucked. Life moved on but I still think about it. I've asked numerous people if they have events they relive in their heads over and over again. The answer is almost always yes because most of us do. But why is that?

I'm not suggesting we don't relive happy memories, but the challenges seem to cut deeper for some reason. Is it perhaps because we are still learning a lesson? I know this, the more we try and not think about those events, the more we think about them. If I was to ask you to not think about an orange elephant riding a motorcycle – good luck getting that image out of your head!

Beware of the Lizard Brain

I'd consider myself a fairly smart dude, so why can't I just tell myself to stop letting something that has already happened, which I cannot change, continue to bug me? It has to do with the part of the limbic system in our brains that is in charge of fight, flight, feed, fear, or freeze. It is our survival mechanism which decides what we do next if we are experiencing stress. It's why we can't seem to get started on the project even though we know the deadline looms.

If we have a situation, current or past, real or imagined, it will react immediately. If we are experiencing or have experienced pain, it will focus solely on that moment. When I think of that event, it's as if I am reliving it over and over again. 

Negative vs Positive

Perhaps this is more prevalent in Western culture, but we seem to do it more often when remembering negative situations over joyous ones. Do we think we don't deserve joy and need to pay for pain? I'm obviously not a psychologist but I think there's something to that. Our frontal lobe is in charge of reasoning, motor skills, higher level cognition, and expressive language. So our complicated brain starts to fight with itself. 

I've started an exercise and like most when you begin, I'm terrible at it, but I'm trying to think of five positive things in my life or events that have happened whenever a negative thought or memory crosses my mind. When I can do it successfully, it actually works. So perhaps you can try it if you can't seem to get past a negative event in your past.

I wonder how the elephant balances on that motorcycle? 

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The Human App

At an early age, we’re told to be brave. Don’t whine or I’ll give you something to cry about. We are not born with fear, but it rears its ugly head early on, sometimes through innocuous events. A bit here, a smidgen there, and suddenly we are thrust into the world where others are told to be brave and not cry and not show their insecurities.

We climb the ladder, finish the project, attend the meeting, rush to the event, answer that email, respond to that request, get on that conference call, make that flight, make eye contact, smile brightly, and we keep running.

Splash in the face

We get caught in our own race and suddenly run into an old friend and find out what’s going with them. An event, a loss, a choice, and suddenly our challenges don’t seem so unique. Multiple that by the employees of an entire company and suddenly you can see how creating a collaborative culture can be elusive.

Some say we live this life alone – I disagree. We live this life together. It doesn’t mean we can carry each other’s burden but we can certainly lighten each other’s load when we can. A mentor once said we must remember our team members are not cogs in some wheel, they are people with feelings and challenges and dreams and goals.

The human element

Perhaps it's easier to stare at our screens and play with our gadgets, but we are missing an essential piece of life when we do that. I can send you a text and hope the message is clear or we can use the free phone app on our phones to discuss it properly.

We must remember that in order to create a collaborative culture, we can’t forget the element which is far more important than any product or service.

Each other.
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We So Scared

Many opine we aren't born with fear but as we go through our lives, it seems we take less chances and become more cautious. It could be because we've experienced things that haven't gone well. It could be because we think we have more wisdom so not to make foolish choices. That voice in our head says; "let's not do that again!"

Experts have been studying this for years and in an article entitled "Decision Neuroscience: Why We Become More Cautious with Age", there is sound evidence which suggests at least part of the reason is physical. As we age, the levels of dopamine in our bodies declines. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and a hormone. It plays a role in many important body functions, including movement, memory and pleasurable reward and motivation. We might be smart but our physiological makeup does have a say in the matter without our interference. 

Age and Ageing 

So that might point to why we rolled the dice at 20 and hesitated at 50. We were born with the ability to reason but we are also made up of chemical elements that don't ask for our input and can become our biggest foe.  

I've had to make a couple of pretty significant decisions in the last few years. One of them I belabored over for weeks. I had a similar situation happen almost two decades ago and I jumped at it. I did make the move again this time but I was aware of how I gave downside more weight than opportunity. 

Hormone levels and age may make us pause a bit longer or fear a bit more but here might be an exercise worth trying. Find something small you are thinking about right now. It could literally be something so insignificant, it might not even matter next week. Take five minutes and try and think of you a decade or two ago and make the decision through that lens. You might surprise yourself.

But I'm still not bungie jumping! 

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Burning Bridges

We've heard it since we were kids. It's sage advice, but not always possible in the heat of the moment. I'll tell you a quick story of when I could have burned a bridge, chose not to, and it changed my life completely. 

Over twenty years ago, I was working in an organization going through significant employee reductions. The day came when the envelope was slid toward me on the desk and I was walking to my car with eight years of my career in a box under my arm. 

Life Isn't Fair

I was hurt and angry. I could have called them every name imaginable. My choice was to take a deep breath, force my chin up, and move on with my life. It was incredibly difficult. Three years later, the company called me back and I was there for another seven. 

That original decision not to burn that bridge, propelled me into other opportunities. Most of the other people who were gassed that day, burned the bridge and the river it was on and never worked in the industry again. 

 Lessons Learned

Sometimes we get the short end of the stick and that sucks. But I learned from that experience and many since; if you are a good person and you don't stab people in the back, it will pay back huge dividends. 

I'm working on a project right now that requires me to call numerous people I once worked with, partnered with, did projects with, and I am happy to report they're taking my call. I'm not suggesting every call turns into millions nor am I saying that it's enough to move this project forward on its own.

Your Character Precedes You 

If I had been a complete jerk and burned bridges along the way, those calls would have gone unanswered. Our reputation goes farther than we even know. 

If you're human with people, respect their time, and ask for their advice, you will be surprised what happens. They will help, they will suggest ideas, and they will make other introductions for you. 

If we burn bridges, we better be prepared to do a lot of swimming.

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TikTok Now

One of my colleagues sent me a post from TikTok by Mel Robbins. In it, she outlines her key tenets to life. I told my friend that I had seen Mel's TEDTalk and posted it here a couple of times. In fact, the first time I posted this video was a decade ago. 

 Her message has never been more relevant that it is right now.

 
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Human Networking

At an early age, we’re told to be brave. Don’t whine or I’ll give you something to cry about. We are not born with fear, but it rears its ugly head early on, sometimes through innocuous events. A bit here, a smidgen there, and suddenly we are thrust into the world where others are told to be brave and not cry and not show their insecurities.

We climb the ladder, finish the project, attend the meeting, rush to the event, answer that email, respond to that request, get on that conference call, make that flight, make eye contact, smile brightly, and we keep running.

Splash in the face

We get caught in our own race and suddenly run into an old friend and find out what’s going with them. An event, a loss, a choice, and suddenly our challenges don’t seem so unique. Multiple that by the employees of an entire company and suddenly you can see how creating a collaborative culture can be elusive.

Some say we live this life alone – I disagree. We live this life together. It doesn’t mean we can carry each other’s burden but we can certainly lighten each other’s load when we can. A mentor once said we must remember our team members are not cogs in some wheel, they are people with feelings and challenges and dreams and goals.

The human element

Perhaps it's easier to stare at our screens and play with our gadgets, but we are missing an essential piece of life when we do that. I can send you a text and hope the message is clear or we can use the free phone app on our phones to discuss it properly.

We must remember that in order to create a collaborative culture, we can’t forget the element which is far more important than any product or service.

One another.
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Lead Don't Boss

Allow others to inspire. Find the how. Get out of their way. Be present even during challenging times. Have clear expectations. Don't expect to ever have all the answers.

Helping others is a privilege. Back your people up. Be bold. Never stop learning. Open door policies are for those who mean it. Don’t hide behind busy. It’s their career too.

Be inquisitive. Invest at least half of your time helping people. Hire passion. A team is more than celebrating victories. Don’t be a boss. Listen.

Don’t hide when your people need you. Grow their strengths. Let them shine. Be fair. Get to know what motivates everyone on your team. Seek guidance from those who are committed to helping you grow.

Customer service begins with you. Never settle. Understand that it will be the most rewarding work you’ll ever have the privilege to do.

And it won't be listed on your business card.
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Reasons vs Excuses

We all have those moments, those things, those conversations, those fill in the blank, that we say we want to tackle but we often find plenty of brilliant excuses. It's not the right time; it's best we wait; I'll get to it soon.

Mel Robbins demystifies the excuses and drops the f-bomb.


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What is Inspiration?

You can find it in books, in music, in films, on TV and websites. It's uttered from the greatest minds of human history. If you look long enough, you can find it virtually everywhere. But what does inspiration mean to you? Does it inspire you to read about a rags-to-riches story or about someone overcoming physical challenges? Will it make you move into your truth if you view a movie where the heroine conquers all?

We know what inspiration is, but that isn't enough. We need to find a way to apply it to our lives, our situations, our challenges, or it's just a bunch of words. Inspiration is not likes on your Instagram post or followers on Vero.

words vs actions

One definition is; the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. Another is; the drawing in of breath; inhalation.

So is inspiration simply taking a deep breath? I don't think that's enough. And I don't think it's enough to know the definition. I've often said –  and often forgotten –  that inspiration doesn't appear with balloons and streamers. It happens in small increments. It could be one word or a gesture or an image that pushes us forward.

I recently posted about motivation and maybe that's an important ingredient to inspiration. If we know what we want and know how to get it but don't move, what's the point? I can post inspiring words or we could go for coffee and I could offer some advice, but will that inspire us? Inspiration is a big word but it doesn't have to be zero-sum. It doesn't take the climbing of a mountain or landing that million dollar deal for us to be inspired. Often it's the small things that matter most.

rinse repeat

We look to heroes who have done great things which inspire us but in my view the application to our own lives is the critical element. I'm going through something right now I've been through before and the same fears have crept into my consciousness.

I'm not yet through it, but I've had to remind myself the steps I took the last time, take that deep breath, and move.

we are human

In 2014, Fortune posted a list of their 50 Greatest Leaders and though there are inspirational people here, they aren't without flaws or mistakes. So perhaps the key piece of finding inspiration is within ourselves and to discover it isn't a perfect path or one single action?

So let's keep listening to that music and reading those books and watching those movies because life is a series of mistakes and actions and inspiring moments we create. Let's inspire each other with those small things so we can get to those big things.

And let's celebrate those moments when they happen.
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Beliefs and Actions of a Great Leader

He remains consistent. She makes people her top priority. He asks for help.
She manages up. He encourages differing points of view.

She ensures a collaborative culture.

He clearly articulates vision. She understands internal customer service is directly related to external customer service. He owns setbacks and shares victories.

She doesn't need to always be right. He knows it's not a straight road.
He knows culture will build revenue. She doesn't need to have the final say.

He eliminates favoritism. She sets realistic boundaries. He explains the tough decisions.
She remains fair. He doesn't manage, he leads. She holds herself accountable.

He holds the team accountable. She can apologize.
She leads by example. He possesses vision for now and the future.

She believes clear communication is critical.

He gives at least a quarter of his time to helping his people.
She challenges comfort zone especially her own.

He accepts full responsibility.
She remains humble but confident.

He gives great internal customer service.

She stays focused on goals not emotions. He shares the victories and the challenges.
He asks for the same efforts he gives them. She never stops learning.
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Enjoy This Ride

The new year is fresh and many of us are looking it with optimism, but how often do we look at the past to compare it to what's ahead of us rather than focusing solely on possibilities ahead? One of my go-to songs is from a band called Morcheeba, it's entitled "Enjoy the Ride".

I think we spend far too much of our time looking back and looking forward and not enough time enjoying now. Now is not always fun and the ride is certainly not always smooth – in fact, it’s often quite bumpy. But if we pay more attention, we may stop chasing shadows in our work, our companies, our relationships, and our lives.

Maybe we'll enjoy this ride.


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Screens and Faces

At an early age, we’re told to be brave. Don’t whine or I’ll give you something to cry about. We are not born with fear, but it rears its ugly head early on, sometimes through innocuous events. A bit here, a smidge there, and suddenly we are thrust into the world where others are told to be brave and not cry and not show their insecurities.

We climb the ladder, finish the project, attend the meeting, rush to the event, answer that email, respond to that request, get on that conference call, make that flight, make eye contact, smile brightly, and we keep running.

Splash in the face

We get caught in our own race and suddenly run into an old friend and find out what’s going with them. An event, a loss, a choice, and suddenly our challenges don’t seem so unique. Multiple that by the employees of an entire company and suddenly you can see how creating a collaborative culture can be elusive.

Some say we live this life alone – I disagree. We live this life together. It doesn’t mean we can carry each other’s burden but we can certainly lighten each other’s load when we can. A mentor once said we must remember our team members are not cogs in some wheel, they are people with feelings and challenges and dreams and goals.

The human element

Perhaps it's easier to stare at our screens and play with our gadgets, but we are missing an essential piece of life when we do that. I can send you a text and hope the message is clear or we can use the free phone app on our phones to discuss it properly.

We must remember that in order to create a collaborative culture, we can’t forget the element which is far more important than any product or service.

Each other.
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It Happens to All of Us

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid. It took the doctors 10 months to figure out the problem. I lost 40 pounds, missed most of the school year, and it felt like I had the flu for almost a year.

The treatment: removal of about 80% of my thyroid. If they had not taken enough, they would have had to operate again; if they had taken too much, I would have been on medication for the rest of my life. They nailed it. That story was probably marginally interesting. I had a medical condition and doctors treated it.

How about I tell you about the many days when I felt inferior, lost, sad, confused, or unsure what to do with my life? Or the days worrying about my career, finances, future, or self-worth?

Are you wincing a bit?

Why do we have no trouble talking about someone who has an organ malfunction or a broken limb but we get embarrassed to talk about mental illness? The stats say that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men have a depressive episode in their lives. This does not mean can't get out of bed for months; it means an episode which is a range from a one time event to a lifetime and any increment in between.

It's as pervasive as the common cold and we'd rather ignore it, shy away from it, hope it's someone else's problem. I'm going to be bold and say every human on the planet has at least one episode in their lives and it's nothing to be ashamed about and we need to talk about it. I'm not ashamed I had thyroid disease or that I've had bad days

Neither should you!
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The Dreaded F-Word

You're not fine. You will never feel like doing it. Get off your ass and get going.
Wise words from Mel Robbins. Watch this.


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A Couple of Dozen Thoughts for Leaders

Allow others to inspire. Find the how. Get out of their way. Be present even during challenging times. Have clear expectations. Don't expect to ever have all the answers.

Helping others is a privilege. Back your people up. Be bold. Never stop learning. Open door policies are for those who mean it. Don’t hide behind busy. It’s their career too.

Be inquisitive. Invest at least half of your time helping people. Hire passion. A team is more than celebrating victories. Don’t be a boss. Listen.

Don’t hide when your people need you. Grow their strengths. Let them shine. Be fair. Get to know what motivates your people. Seek guidance from those who are committed to helping you grow.

Customer service begins with you. Never settle. Understand that it will be the most rewarding work you’ll ever have the privilege to do.

And it won't be listed on your business card.
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How Are You?

Good thanks and you? Fine, just fine, thanks for asking. We say it a hundred times a day and don't even break stride. We connect with each other like flat stones skimming the morning lake. Busy lives make for quick exchanges and we keep moving. Apparently I'm not fine and neither are you.

Mel Robbins explains why.


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You're Never Gonna Feel Like it

We all have those moments, those things, those conversations, those fill in the blank, that we say we want to tackle but we often find plenty of brilliant excuses. It's not the right time; it's best we wait; I'll get to it soon; blah blah blah. I've posted this before on this site and it's worth another watch.

Mel Robbins demystifies the excuses and drops the f-bomb.


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Stigma Begone

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid. It took the doctors 10 months to figure out the problem. I lost 40 pounds, missed most of the school year, and it felt like I had the flu for almost a year.

The treatment: removal of about 80% of my thyroid. If they had not taken enough, they would have had to operate again; if they had taken too much, I would have been on medication for the rest of my life. They nailed it. That story was probably marginally interesting. I had a medical condition and doctors treated it.

How about I tell you about the many days when I felt inferior, lost, sad, confused, or unsure what to do with my life? Or the days worrying about my career, finances, future, or self-worth? Are you wincing a bit?

Why do we have no trouble talking about someone who has an organ malfunction or a broken limb but we get embarrassed to talk about mental illness? 

The stats say that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men have a depressive episode in their lives. This does not mean can't get out of bed for months; it means an episode which is a range from a one time event to a lifetime and any increment in between.

It's as pervasive as the common cold and we'd rather ignore it, shy away from it, hope it's someone else's problem. I'm going to be bold and say every human on the planet has at least one episode in their lives and it's nothing to be ashamed about and we need to talk about it. I'm not ashamed I had thyroid disease. I'm not ashamed I've had bad days and neither should you.

Ruby Wax explains her story which affects us all.


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I'm Feeling Reflective

My life has changed dramatically in the last 18 months. There is conventional wisdom that states we endure a few events in our lives that cause major upheaval and stress. They can change us, inspire us, hurt us, depress us, or any combination. Those include; a death close to us, a significant illness, the end of a long relationship, substantial career shift, selling a house, and moving to a new city.

I don’t put too much significance on dates but last January a long relationship ended and a year ago today I secured my first major move to a new city. Since then, I have moved cities again. My career has shifted. My relationships are stronger. I’m in a different space than I was this time last year. Some have remarked, I’m a different guy.

Life gets busy. Life goes fast.

We rarely make the time to slow it down for just a few moments to reflect on what is going well and what we have accomplished. Then carefully make a list of what we want next and down the road. I’m feeling especially reflective today because of the date.

The last year and a half has been a whirlwind and it was time to stop and take stock. Some of the events that have happened in your last year may have gone right by without you even noticing.

I stumbled onto an interesting site this week that outlines what happens in our world every second...

• 4 babies are born and 2 people die
• 100 lightning strikes have struck the ground
• 16 million tons of water has evaporated from the Earth’s surface
• 2.8 million emails are sent
• More than 100,000 Google searches are performed

So 4,730,400 seconds ago, my life began a very different and interesting path. There's no telling what the next 31 million will bring but it was worth stopping for a few moments to remember the overcome challenges and well-earned victories. And most of all, the people who stuck around for the ride.

Something you may want to do some time.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

2014 – Year in Reflection

Ideas shared. Friends reunited. Challenges beaten. Dreams sought. Jobs lost.
Opportunities found. Laughs enjoyed. Money earned. Chances missed.

Surprises given. Love lost. Adventures embarked. Doors opened. Balance restored.
Joy experienced. Collaboration realized. Freedom relished. Fulfillment renewed.

Sadness endured. Families respected. Success appreciated. Faith challenged.
Passion treasured. Love reunited. Memories generated. Pain suffered.

Setbacks sustained. Many remembered. History created. Lessons engaged.
Hope rejuvenated. Trust earned. Friends united. Life lived. You advanced.

Here’s to more in 2015!
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

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