The Guest Room is Open

This was written by poet and theologian Rūmī six hundred years ago and the message is as valid today.

We all have struggles and stress; issues and challenges, and it's tough to see clearly at times but that is where we grow. It's been a challenging year for many I know, me included, on various fronts. The words of Rumi are worth reviewing.

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
__________________________________________________________________

Technology and Other Human Things

We can cook a turkey in 15 minutes; send a text around the world with the press of a thumb; watch or listen to anything we want on our smartphones. We are so fortunate. And now we can have a computer create everything. Look at us doing stuff and things with gadgets and doohickeys. We are the coolest.

Media are consumed mostly when we're alone. We don't gather around and answer an email and we don't hover over Josh's phone when he's texting Susan. We may binge watch that show on that streaming platform with our partner. Once a year we may gather at a buddy's house to eat too much and watch the Super Bowl. The rest of the time we are on our devices researching, reading, texting, replying, and searching by ourselves.

Technology, they said, would improve our lives. 

We can buy a car on the internet, learn about penguins on our mobile device, find the best sushi restaurant in Des Moines, and read about an awesome vacation someone else took while sitting on our couch.  

Most of the time we are connecting with each other through all this supposed cool technology while we are by ourselves. I wrote this alone and you're probably reading it while you're alone. I have a friend who hasn't answered his phone in years. He'll respond to my texts almost immediately, but I don't dare suggest an actual conversation. 

Technology, they said, would give us choices.

I remember a restaurant experience when the table next to us had six people all staring at their phones. Their meals arrived and phones weren't put away; they were placed beside plates and glanced at often. Their bill arrived and it looked like the dance of the smartphones as each of them transferred their amount to the one guy who tapped the server's machine to pay it in full. 

Technology, as it turns out, has created more depression and less human interaction. We are checking our phones yet miss what that guy said about the thing. I got a text; it must be important. I'd better check my email; I may have missed something. What's on my smart device is clearly way more important than any of this human stuff. 

I'm sure AI will solve it all.

__________________________________________________________________

Emotional Fracture

They put a cast on a broken ankle; they give medication to the patient recovering from surgery; they prescribe pain pills for someone with chronic migraines. And yet, the stigma remains with emotional health because you can't see it on an MRI. 

 Key facts from the World Health Organization;

• Globally, it is estimated that 5% of adults suffer from depression. 
• Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide. 
• More women are affected by depression than men. 
• Depression can lead to suicide. 
• There is effective treatment for mild, moderate, and severe depression. 

Check the Math 

Depression isn't a one stop emotional shop; it is a range. I deal with emotional setbacks often. I work; I have friends; I'm in a wonderful relationship; I function and carry on. I guess that's mild but it doesn't make the struggle any less for me. A past bad work experience; that presentation eleven years ago; that test I messed up at college. 

The amount of time I spend beating myself up over things no one even noticed, is exhausting. Some say it's not logical, but it's no less real to me. We need to stop messing around. My emotional hurdles are just as critical as your broken leg. This isn't a 5% thing; this isn't a "them" issue; this affects all of us. Something to ponder if this effects all of us.

Let's share some help for each other. __________________________________________________________________

How Are You?

Three words we say countless times every day. But how often do we wait for the answer, and more importantly, how often do we give the real answer? 

Everyone we know is going through something and it takes humility to understand someone's behavior could be affected by something going on in their life. It's been attributed to a few people but still true that far too often we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. 

Pass the salt

I was in a situation last week where three of us were out for lunch. One buddy is going through a horrific divorce and the other friend doesn't know him all that well. Cue the awkward when friend number two decides to drop into friend number one's situation (which has been going on for two years) and lob a bunch of advice. Suffice it to say, the lunch ended abruptly. 

Hey, intentionally or unintentionally, we all do it and often we don't mean it. We want to help, offer some advice, and without proper context, purpose solutions. The most difficult challenge in the human condition is our emotional health. 

One in One

If you say you've never had an incident in your life, you're fooling yourself. We have all had at least one and most of us a lot more than one. It's not a splint for a dislocated shoulder or a cast for a fractured ankle; it's a confusing stream of physically undetectable symptoms we can't often describe. 

What bothers me may not even occur to you. What makes you doubtful might not register on my radar. Which gets us back to the compassion of others. So, let's try it this week. Ask someone how they are doing and wait for the answer. 

 You might help someone more than you know. __________________________________________________________________

Too Much Information?

We say it several times a day. We meet a client, see a friend, join a Zoom call, and the first thing we often say is; "How are you?" The reply is often;"I'm good, you?". And we move on. Why do we do that? Is it uncomfortable if someone said they were tired because their baby is sick or down because of their ailing father or upset due to their marriage having trouble?

I get there is a right time and place for personal stuff but without oversharing, how can we take that original salutation just an inch farther? I'm not suggesting fake compassion; I'm referring to the real stuff. Take just twenty seconds to see how someone is doing. You aren't there to solve their challenge but rather to simply be human. We're not robots and there might be much more going on if someone isn't "making their numbers".

Leave it at home

I am lucky to work in a company and with a team who does take a moment to see how you are really doing and let you know they actually see you as a person. It doesn't weaken relationships, it strengthens them.

I feel the core of teamwork is having each other's backsides not our own. Hopefully others feel the same way. If someone is missing deadlines or their work quality is waning, it's time for a check in and see if they are truly okay. Work is not a place to spend your time talking about your kids and home life all day. We are humans not robots and if we think people shouldn't bring their life to work, we may have another challenge.

They might stop bringing their work to life. 

_________________________________________________________________

Chicken Little and Ten Bucks for Butter

If you consume news at all, you know the general tone is fear and concern. The pandemic is far from over despite full stadiums at sporting events and airports no longer asking about covid symptoms. The world's population is about to go over 8 billion and there are about half a million or so new cases every day. Some would said that is a small percentage; I say it's lot of people.

The affect of the pandemic is showing up at the gas pump, the grocery store, and everywhere else we buy stuff. The "R-word" is dominating pontificators' commentaries while we pay $10 for butter and in my country of Canada, somewhere between $1.60 and $2 for a litre of gas.  

It is strange that almost all of my clients are desperate to find employees and yet the news reports say we are in a financial crunch. Perhaps millions have opted to try and become a TikTok star in lieu of actual work?

Meanwhile this happened.

There have been 13 recessions since World War II which is defined by a period of temporary economic decline during which trade and industrial activity are reduced, generally identified by a fall in GDP in two successive quarters. I'm not completely sure why that means we should run for the bunker for fear the sky may actually land on us.

Some of the companies which were founded during global recessions include; Disney, HP, Netflix, Microsoft, Uber, Pinterest, General Electric, HBO, WhatsApp, Ford, Revlon, Ocean Spray, IBM, Airbnb, American Airlines, Dominos, Instagram, General Motors, Hyatt Hotels, FedEx, and iRobot - which Amazon acquired this past summer for $1.7B. 

What about us?

How does that affect you and me while we live our lives, get by, and not fear our next paycheck is in jeopardy like it was over the past three years? Well, I'm still here to write this post and you're still here to read it, so let's keep going. 

While Chicken Little worries about the sky falling on her head, we have survived worse. We might have to drive less and eat less butter, but community has never been more important than it is right now. So while the experts opine about the next 12 months, perhaps we can do something to make life a bit brighter.

Ask someone how we can help them.

__________________________________________________________________

We Are So Cool

Technology, they said, would be good for us. 

We can cook a turkey in 15 minutes; send a text around the world with the press of a thumb; watch or listen to anything we want on our smartphones. We are so fortunate. Look at us doing stuff and things with gadgets and doohickeys. We are the coolest.

Media are consumed mostly when we're alone. We don't gather around and answer an email and we don't hover over Josh's phone when he's texting Susan. We may binge watch that show on that streaming platform with our partner. Once a year we may gather at a buddy's house to eat too much and watch the Super Bowl. The rest of the time we are on our devices researching, reading, texting, replying, and searching by ourselves.

Technology, they said, would improve our lives. 

We can buy a car on the internet, learn about penguins on our mobile device, find the best sushi restaurant in Des Moines, and read about an awesome vacation someone else took while sitting on our couch.  

Most of the time we are connecting with each other through all this supposed cool technology while we are by ourselves. I wrote this alone and you're probably reading it while you're alone. I have a friend who hasn't answered his phone in years. He'll respond to my texts almost immediately, but I don't dare suggest an actual conversation. 

Technology, they said, would give us choices.

I remember a restaurant experience when the table next to us had six people all staring at their phones. Their meals arrived and phones weren't put away; they were placed beside plates and glanced at often. Their bill arrived and it looked like the dance of the smartphones as each of them transferred their amount to the one guy who tapped the server's machine to pay it in full. 

Technology, as it turns out, has created more depression and less human interaction. We are checking our phones yet miss what that guy said about the thing. I got a text; it must be important. I'd better check my email; I may have missed something. What's on my smart device is clearly way more important than any of this human stuff.

Technology, they said, would make us more connected. 

__________________________________________________________________

Something We All Share

They put a cast on a broken ankle; they give medication to the patient recovering from surgery; they prescribe pain pills for someone with chronic migraines. And yet, the stigma remains with emotional health because you can't see it on an MRI.

Key facts from the World Health Organization.

• Globally, it is estimated that 5% of adults suffer from depression.
• Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide.
• More women are affected by depression than men. 
• Depression can lead to suicide. 
• There is effective treatment for mild, moderate, and severe depression. 

I am certainly not a doctor or a science expert but I don't agree with some of these points. I believe almost every human on earth deals with at least one episode in their life. And if it's happening to you, it certainly isn't mild nor insignificant. No one is immune.  

Check the Math

Depression isn't a one stop emotional shop; it is a range. I deal with emotional setbacks often. I work; I have friends; I'm in a wonderful relationship; I function and carry on. I guess that's mild but it doesn't make the struggle any less for me.

A past bad work experience; that presentation eleven years ago; that test I messed up at college. The amount of time I spend beating myself up over things no one even noticed, is exhausting. Some say it's not logical, but it's no less real to me.

Reveal in Plain Sight

Naomi Judd publicly talked about her depression for years. She appeared on camera in various stages of emotional and physical distress. She did it to help others and yet her depression told her the big lie and her life was cut short on the day before she was to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

We need to stop messing around. My emotional hurdles are just as critical as your broken leg. Enough tiptoeing around this health crisis that will take more lives than cancer. And death isn't the only result; most are struggling just to get through the day. This isn't a 5% thing; this isn't some "them" issue; this affects all of us. 

If it's something we share then let's share some help for each other. 

  __________________________________________________________________

Guests in Your House

This was written by poet and theologian Rūmī six hundred years ago and the message is as valid today.

We all have struggles and stress; issues and challenges, and it's tough to see clearly at times but that is where we grow. It's been a challenging year for many I know, me included, on various fronts. The words of Rumi are worth reviewing.

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
__________________________________________________________________

Invited Guests

A friend sent me this a few days ago. It was written by poet and theologian Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī six hundred years ago and the message is as valid today.

We all have struggles and stress; issues and challenges, and it's tough to see clearly at times but that is where we grow. It's been a challenging year for many I know, me included, on various fronts. The words of Rumi are worth reviewing.
____________________________

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor
Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
__________________________________________________________________

The Human Guest House

This was written by poet and theologian Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī (known as Rumi) six hundred years ago and the message is as valid today.

We all have struggles and stress; issues and challenges, and it's tough to see clearly at times but that is where we grow. It's been a challenging year for many I know, me included, on various fronts. The words of Rumi are worth reviewing.
____________________________

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
__________________________________________________________________

It Happens to All of Us

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid. It took the doctors 10 months to figure out the problem. I lost 40 pounds, missed most of the school year, and it felt like I had the flu for almost a year.

The treatment: removal of about 80% of my thyroid. If they had not taken enough, they would have had to operate again; if they had taken too much, I would have been on medication for the rest of my life. They nailed it. That story was probably marginally interesting. I had a medical condition and doctors treated it.

How about I tell you about the many days when I felt inferior, lost, sad, confused, or unsure what to do with my life? Or the days worrying about my career, finances, future, or self-worth?

Are you wincing a bit?

Why do we have no trouble talking about someone who has an organ malfunction or a broken limb but we get embarrassed to talk about mental illness? The stats say that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men have a depressive episode in their lives. This does not mean can't get out of bed for months; it means an episode which is a range from a one time event to a lifetime and any increment in between.

It's as pervasive as the common cold and we'd rather ignore it, shy away from it, hope it's someone else's problem. I'm going to be bold and say every human on the planet has at least one episode in their lives and it's nothing to be ashamed about and we need to talk about it. I'm not ashamed I had thyroid disease or that I've had bad days

Neither should you!
__________________________________________________________________

Stigma Begone

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid. It took the doctors 10 months to figure out the problem. I lost 40 pounds, missed most of the school year, and it felt like I had the flu for almost a year.

The treatment: removal of about 80% of my thyroid. If they had not taken enough, they would have had to operate again; if they had taken too much, I would have been on medication for the rest of my life. They nailed it. That story was probably marginally interesting. I had a medical condition and doctors treated it.

How about I tell you about the many days when I felt inferior, lost, sad, confused, or unsure what to do with my life? Or the days worrying about my career, finances, future, or self-worth? Are you wincing a bit?

Why do we have no trouble talking about someone who has an organ malfunction or a broken limb but we get embarrassed to talk about mental illness? 

The stats say that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men have a depressive episode in their lives. This does not mean can't get out of bed for months; it means an episode which is a range from a one time event to a lifetime and any increment in between.

It's as pervasive as the common cold and we'd rather ignore it, shy away from it, hope it's someone else's problem. I'm going to be bold and say every human on the planet has at least one episode in their lives and it's nothing to be ashamed about and we need to talk about it. I'm not ashamed I had thyroid disease. I'm not ashamed I've had bad days and neither should you.

Ruby Wax explains her story which affects us all.


__________________________________________________________________

The Guest House

A friend sent me this a few days ago. It was written by poet and theologian Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī six hundred years ago and the message is as valid today.

We all have struggles and stress; issues and challenges, and it's tough to see clearly at times but that is where we grow. It's been a challenging year for many I know, me included, on various fronts. The words of Rumi are worth reviewing.
____________________________

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably,
he may be clearing you out for some new delight

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
__________________________________________________________________
As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience as a business advisor and project manager in numerous industries and organizations including; human resources, corporate training, financial services, media, real estate, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting leaders who want to improve their bottom line through strong culture and leadership. knealemann@gmail.com

Scott Weiland – Remembering a Beautiful Soul

Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart

The first 20 years of my career were spent in radio; programming, music, marketing, promotions, building teams, overseeing events, building new stations, and I had the unique privilege of meeting and interviewing over a thousand alternative rock artists and bands. Most were fantastic, some were terrible,  many were fun, and a couple of them were haunting.

One of them was Scott Weiland. 

The news of his death has been met with mixed reactions. Grief, of course; but much of the feelings being shared are sprinkled with comments about the lack of surprise. He battled drug addition his entire adult life, so many aren't surprised he died young. We often call them demons, as if they aren't to be given the same care and respect we give a physical injury or chronic illness and that's wrong!

I first heard Scott’s band Stone Temple Pilots in 1993. It was thick and melodic; the lyrics haunting and later telling of a tortured soul searching for peace. It was a time when grunge had slid into a rebirth of bombastic arena rock drenched in glam and escape. It was a release from the angst of Nirvana and Alice in Chains while borrowing some of their tones and feeling.

Big Empty

Scott was the showman, the clown, the sad man, a riveting force on stage with his lizard dance. He was an artistic man who couldn’t quench his never ending thirst for harmony in the pit of his soul and much of it was right out there for the world to watch. I saw him perform five times. He was mesmerizing.

I met Scott in 1999 when I was at The Edge in Toronto. The band came into our street-level studio for an interview and to perform acoustically. The original plan was three songs. Between the fourth and fifth, Scott came over to me and said; “Sorry for hoggin' your studio, man.” I said; “You guys are welcome to play all night.”

The studio was about 600 square feet. We were crammed in there; it was as if the biggest band on the planet was performing in our living room.

Interstate Love Song

Meeting him afterward, he was exactly what you’d expect; arrogant and dismissive, he could hardly make eye contact yet screaming for attention. He was the star of the show shrouded in a cloak of debilitating self-doubt. As we were gathering for dinner, he turned and looked right at me and said; “Do you like the new album?” I said; “Yes I do”.

He paused like the kid waiting for mom to approve his latest finger painting. Not to be over dramatic, but I felt like I saw a glimmer of Scott rather than the lead singer of a band. A second later, the rock star reappeared and he said; “Cool, thanks dude” and he got into the van. At dinner, he was the life of the party. I suspect sitting quietly wasn't his strong suit.

Plush

A while later, STP band mates Eric Kretz and Robert & Dean DeLeo were in town with their side project Talk Show. Scott was serving time in prison. The pain his brothers felt for him was palpable. After dinner, we talked for hours. It was a human moment, not a radio programmer hanging with rock stars’ moment.

During that period, it was funny that I seem to run into Dean and Robert in the oddest places; at a video shoot in LA, a festival in Atlanta, and a show in NYC. They are lovely people certainly missing their family member.

Vasoline

During and after STP, Scott had Velvet Revolver, Camp Freddy, The Magnificent Bastards, The Wondergirls, and Art of Anarchy. He was found just before his band The Wildabouts were to hit the stage at a show in Bloomington, Minnesota; still on the road, still chasing and running, while the adoring fans cheered on.

We know Scott Weilland because he was famous but his struggle was far too common.

Like millions, I loved his music; still do. We didn’t know how to have the right conversation of the struggle he and far too many others are facing. This is not a story of yet another drug induced rock star found on a tour bus. This is a lesson that what we see in front of us is often not what is there at all.

Scott Richard Weiland – Rest in peace.
Oct 27, 1967 – Dec 3, 2015


__________________________________________________________________

David Foster Wallace

I don't usually spend blog time on obituaries but this death gave me pause.

Someone I am just getting to know is David Foster Wallace and sadly because someone mentioned him on Saturday, the day he died. I had heard of him over the years but didn’t pay much attention. Many called Wallace one of the greatest writers and essayists in American history. But he wasn’t flashy, he didn’t write books that turned into Hollywood blockbusters, and he shunned the spotlight.

When I heard of his passing I went online to search for more information about him. After reading some, I watched an interview he did with Charlie Rose in 1997. He seemed the reluctant type, shy, and borderline apologetic.

Wallace once said we often lump writers into the same box – as if to say anyone who works with words is of the same mind and theory. Good point. But writers are often complicated and many are quite fragile.

The late Red Smith once summed it up succinctly; “There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” Writing is difficult. Publishing your work is even tougher. The microscope is your enemy and the readers can crucify you in a blink. Everyone is in fact a critic.

David suffered from depression for over twenty years and finally took his own life on Saturday. Wallace was only 46 and just getting started.

km