Vän Friends Amie

When I was younger, friends were the people you hung out with, went to parties with, played sports with, worked with, and you didn't overthink. Hey you like hockey? Me too. Let's hang out. You saw them all the time; you knew who your friends were.  

Some of the people I was closest to are no longer part of my everyday life and I'm not in their life. We've moved on; met other people; traveled other journeys. I wonder how my buddy Andy is doing these days. We were hooked at the shoulder for all those road hockey games and listening to new albums. Then we grew up and did life stuff. But if we bumped into each other tomorrow, I suspect we'd have awesome stories to share!  

Ageless connections 

I’ve also made great friends later in life. Some started as colleagues or clients and, somewhere along the way, became people I genuinely care about. My circle has changed over the years. I'm sure yours has as well. I'm lucky to know a handful of people who know me, make me laugh, tell me when I'm being an idiot, and are somehow happy to sit around a table for a couple of hours and share time.

That's what I appreciate about real friendship. You don't have to perform or keep score. You just know. And after all these years, I'm grateful for the people I know. 

 I hope you are too.

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The Lost Art of Showing Up

One of the simplest ways to get ahead of our competition has nothing to do with AI, technology, budgets, or complicated strategies. It comes down to something much more basic: doing what we say we are going to do. Unfortunately, that has become surprisingly rare. We make mistakes; that's not what I'm referring to in this scenario.

Ghosting has become far too common in business and everyday life. Someone says they will call you back, send information, provide a quote, or follow up on a conversation, and then they disappear. We all get busy. Busy can be a wall we hide behind.

Crickets Rule 

But there is a big difference between being delayed and simply ignoring someone. A quick email or phone call saying, "I'm running behind and will get back to you by the end of the week," takes seconds. And if the answer is no then politely decline.

That small act of communication shows respect and keeps the relationship intact. Trust is built when we return the call; when we show up prepared and on time; when we follow through on a commitment. I can hear my mom saying all that now. I'd call in sick for my part-time job at the car wash and she was none too impressed. 

Interactions Count

Every missed call, unanswered email, or broken promise creates doubt. The chef doesn't stand in the kitchen waiting for your decision; she moves on to the next order because she can't prepare you a plate of maybe for dinner.

Every follow-through builds confidence. We all fall down. We all mess up. That's not this which is making the decision to ignore someone because telling them no might seem harder. A quick no is often better received than a long maybe or worse, being ghosted. 

In a world of ghosts, let's show up. ____________________________________________________________

Quiet Confidence

We tend to picture the loudest person in the room - the one with all the answers, who never seems nervous or doubts a decision as the most confident. Real confidence is much quieter. What's the saying? No one likes a know-it-all?

It's speaking up when we have something worth saying while being comfortable enough to listen when someone else has a better idea. It's admitting we don't know everything and asking questions instead of pretending we do. 

Easier said than done 

There are more days than not when I don't feel confident. There are moments when I question myself; second-guess decisions; and wonder if I'm doing enough. I think many people feel that way, but we rarely talk about it. We see confidence in others because we see the outside; not the doubts and uncertainty behind the scenes. 

I've met people with impressive titles who had very little confidence. I've also met people with no title who carried themselves with certainty. I often mistake confidence with arrogance. I don't do well with bragging loudmouths, so maybe I overcompensate? 

 Shape not define 

When we're younger, we often look for approval. Over time, we learn confidence comes from within. It has less to do with applause and more to do with character. Here's where things go pear shaped. When we're younger, we often have less fear to try new stuff and that dissipates as we age.

Confidence isn't about feeling certain every day. It's about moving forward even on the days when we don't. Maybe that's what confidence really is - not the absence of doubt, but the decision not to let doubt stop us.

Some days we lead; most days we learn. ____________________________________________________________

Advantage: Age

Full disclosure: Despite what my brain thinks, until I catch my reflection in the mirror, I’m not 28 anymore. We live in a culture that celebrates youth and often suggests aging means becoming less relevant. Maybe we have been looking at it the wrong way. The older we get, the more we have seen. 

We have watched trends come and go, experienced success and failure, and learned lessons that cannot be taught in a classroom or replaced by technology. Those experiences create judgment and perspective. In business, there is often an obsession with what is new. 

Age Pivoting

Technology and innovation matter, but the strongest organizations combine ideas with the wisdom that comes from understanding people and challenges. Artificial intelligence is a perfect example. AI can improve efficiency, but it cannot replace human experience. It does not understand relationships, leadership, or empathy. And I don't know about your experience, but I've discovered it's often wrong. 

Technology provides information, but experience helps determine what matters. I don't think the goal is to stay young forever - it's to stay curious forever. Getting older is inevitable; becoming irrelevant is a choice. Aging is not the end of the story; it is where age becomes one of our greatest advantages. 

Experience matters.

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Education Is More Than School

We don't stop learning with graduation. It becomes curiosity, experience, books, mentors, and paying attention to the world around us. AI is a powerful tool, but it isn’t education.

 Artificial intelligence can help us find information faster, organize ideas, and improve productivity. What it can’t replace is critical thinking, judgment, experience, and the ability to ask better questions. 

 Those come from learning. 

 The most successful people never stop learning. They adapt, challenge assumptions, and stay curious because they know yesterday’s knowledge won’t solve tomorrow’s problems. 

 Whether you’re starting your career or approaching retirement, education remains one of your greatest advantages. Keep reading. Keep asking. Keep learning. 

 Stay Curious

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The Hidden Cost of Layoffs

A couple of months ago, I was having lunch with a buddy and we were talking about a company that had just announced a massive round of layoffs. I don't remember which company, and that's not important to the story; but he said something I'd never thought about before. He then said; "They didn't just lay off thousands of employees; they also let possibly millions of years of experience walk out the door." 

 That stopped me. 

We usually hear about layoffs in numbers. Thousands of jobs. Millions of dollars saved. Restructuring. Efficiencies. Corporate language. AI. Stock prices. Industry blah blah blah. But behind every number is a person with knowledge. 

It's the woman who knows how to calm an angry customer because she's done it for twenty years. The technician who can hear something wrong before anyone else notices. The salesperson who remembers clients and relationships built over decades. And thousands have to tell their family they may not have an income for a while. 

Ones and Zeroes

Experience may not show up on a balance sheet, but it's real. It's valuable. It's important. Of course the company has to evaluate inefficiencies and shifting business realities. Layoffs happen. I've been on both sides. Businesses have to make tough decisions. Markets change. Technology evolves. I get that. But experience matters. 

When people leave; they don't just take a job title with them. They are not head count. They take years of lessons, relationships, company intel, instincts, and wisdom when they walk out the door with that infamous box under their arm. 

  And that's something that is difficult to replace. ____________________________________________________________

Teamwork Makes the Team Work

Few people enjoy difficult conversations because they're difficult. I know I've avoided many over the years and probably missed out on some great ideas as a result.

When people talk about teamwork, they often picture harmony. Everyone getting along. Everyone thinking the same way. Everyone moving in the same direction.

We Won't Always Agree

Some of the best teams challenge ideas, ask tough questions, and bring different perspectives to the discussion. What makes them effective is trust. If you know your team has your back even if your ideas aren't awesome, you will suggest more.

Trust allows people to speak honestly. It's an environment where the best ideas can emerge and people aren't protecting their egos or worrying about perceptions.

Keep Your Head Down

Too many organizations confuse compliance with teamwork. If everyone agrees in every meeting, it may not be alignment. It may be silence. Real teamwork requires courage. The courage to contribute, listen, admit mistakes, and support decisions even when your preferred option isn't chosen. 

The strongest teams understand that individual talent matters, but collective effort wins, and the next time you think about teamwork, don't ask whether everyone agrees, but whether people feel valued, trusted, and willing to help one another succeed, because that's where teamwork begins.

And that's where great results are built.  ____________________________________________________________

The Power of Relationships

Technology changes. Platforms change. Trends come and go. Relationships don’t. Business has always been about people. 

Trust still drives opportunities, partnerships, referrals, and long-term growth. The strongest connections are rarely built through one ad or one meeting. They come from consistency, authenticity, and how you treat people over time. 

 Marketing matters. Visibility matters. 

But relationships give those things meaning. Without connection, marketing becomes forgettable. The businesses that last are usually the ones that answer messages, support their communities, remember names, and genuinely care about people.

 In a world focused on AI and shortcuts, relationships remain one of the few things that cannot be replicated overnight. People remember how you made them feel.

Let’s create more experiences, not more campaigns.

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When Silence Wins

There’s an unspoken rule in many workplaces: struggle quietly. Show up, deliver, and don’t let it show, because the moment it does, everything can change.

We’ve built environments where strength is measured by silence. Pushing through is valued more than speaking up, and admitting something is off risks being seen as unreliable or replaceable.

Silence Becomes Strategy

So people adapt. They keep it in, smile in meetings, hit deadlines, and carry everything behind the scenes, hoping it doesn’t slip through. Not because they don’t trust others, but because they don’t trust the outcome.

They wonder if it will affect how they’re viewed, cost them opportunities, or stall their growth. That fear is enough to keep them quiet and pretending.

The Cost Adds Up

That silence doesn’t show up right away, but builds over time in disengagement, burnout, and people disconnecting from work they once cared about.

We talk a lot about culture and support, but culture isn’t what’s written - it’s what’s felt. If employees think honesty could put their future at risk, they’ll choose safety over transparency.

Where It Breaks

Real strength in a workplace isn’t just performance. It’s creating space where people don’t have to choose between being human and being successful.

Because when people feel safe enough to speak, they don’t get weaker - they get better, and so does everything around them.

Silence Is Expensive

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Can't do that, Hal

We’ve never been more connected, and we’ve never been more at risk of missing the point. Everywhere we look - AI, automation, social platforms, smart everything - there’s a promise of efficiency: faster responses, better targeting, more data, and more reach. But none of that replaces what actually moves people. 

The kind that isn’t optimized, scheduled, or generated - the kind that happens when someone feels heard, understood, and valued. Not as a lead. Not as a click, but as a person. 

Technology has changed how we communicate, but it hasn’t changed why we communicate. We still buy from people we trust. We still remember how someone made us feel. We still choose relationships over transactions - every time. 

 Zeros and Ones 

Here’s the part that we often miss: the more digital everything becomes, the more human our brand needs become in this new world. While everyone else is scaling automation, audiences are craving authenticity. They can tell when it’s generic. 

They feel when it’s forced. And they notice when it’s real. Meta - which owns Facebook and Instagram just let go 10% of its entire workforce because of their increased investment in Artificial Intelligence. They won't be the only ones. 

AI can write our emails, build our campaigns, and even sound like us. But it can’t be us. It can’t replace our perspective, our experience, our tone, our emotions, or our relationships. It can’t replicate the trust we’ve built over time or the conversations that happen off-script. That’s our edge. 

So we use the tools, embrace the tech, and leverage AI. But we shouldn't outsource the one thing that actually differentiates us. Because in a world full of noise, relationships aren’t just important. 

 They’re everything. 

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We Can’t Ignore It

There’s a shift happening right now. We don’t fully understand it or where it’s going, but ignoring it isn’t an option. Artificial Intelligence isn’t just a headline. It’s changing how we work, think, create, and value ourselves. And the number of self-proclaimed experts on the topic are growing daily.

The Pressure Is Real

AI can write, design, analyze, and automate faster than we can. Tasks that once took hours now take minutes. If a machine can do what we do, where do we fit? People said that about the automobile and the personal computer but this is much different.

As Fei‑Fei Li (Stanford Institute for Human‑Centered AI), said, “AI is not just about machines, it’s about augmenting human potential.” Even powerful tools are meant to empower, not replace us. We shall see.

Where Value Is Shifting

AI can replicate patterns, but it doesn’t live a life. It doesn’t feel uncertainty or wrestle with tough decisions - that’s where real value lies. For now.

Oren Etzioni (Allen Institute for AI), reminds us: “AI is neither good nor evil. It’s a tool. It’s a technology for us to use.” Technology itself doesn’t define value - people do. We win by using AI as a tool while doubling down on what makes us human: judgment, taste, experience, and curiosity.

Authenticity Wins

As AI makes content easier, authenticity becomes more valuable. When everything sounds polished, what’s real stands out. Deciphering what's real is the challenge.

Kevin Scott (CTO Microsoft) notes: “We underestimated how fast AI would go from fun to essential.” The shift isn’t coming; it’s already here, reshaping expectations.

Don’t Replace Ourselves

AI can help us move faster, but it can’t build trust or replace relationships. Yet.

It’s a tool, not a strategy. The risk may not be that AI replaces us. Life is more than output and efficiency and AI still can’t define meaning. At the moment.

Or I may be full of it because we don’t know what’s next.  

Quiet the Critic

Self‑doubt has always been one of my biggest challenges. Even when things seem on track, I catch myself hesitating or wondering if I’m really capable. Self-doubt shows up in big decisions, creative work, or even everyday choices. 

Up to 85% of people feel like imposters at some point. A 2020 study in Personality and Individual Differences found frequent social comparison fuels hesitation. Recognizing this helps us notice patterns and adjust before it slows us down. Easier said than done.

Small Wins Matter 

Breaking big goals into smaller steps - called “success scaffolding” - is surprisingly effective. A 2018 Journal of Experimental Social Psychology study showed celebrating tiny wins boosts confidence and reduces anxiety. Tracking small milestones makes even big challenges feel manageable and builds momentum. The way you speak to yourself sets the tone for what you achieve. 

Clinical Psychological Science found neutral, compassionate self-talk (“I can figure this out” instead of “I always fail”) strengthens resilience. Catching negative thoughts and reframing them - even out loud—helps you respond differently under pressure. 

Track and Interrupt Patterns 

Logging moments of self-doubt helps you spot triggers like perfectionism or looming deadlines. Awareness turns automatic hesitation into intentional action, giving you the power to act instead of freeze. 

Small wins, kinder self-talk, pattern tracking, and leaning on constructive feedback help you move forward despite doubt. It’s not about being fearless - it’s about choosing progress over fear and trusting yourself along the way. 

 Sometimes we have to build confidence.

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Priorities and Aging

I’ve noticed my priorities have changed a lot over the years. What mattered most in my 20s doesn’t carry the same weight today, and I suspect you’ve felt that too. Life has a way of reshaping what feels urgent versus what feels meaningful. What was SO important years ago barely makes a blip now.

Research shows that as we age, our values and goals naturally shift. A 2017 study in Psychology and Aging found that older adults tend to focus more on meaningful experiences and relationships, while younger adults emphasize exploration.

Small Shifts Create Big Clarity

Even small adjustments in priorities can make a big difference. The same study found that people who consciously reflected on what mattered most experienced less stress and greater satisfaction. Taking time to list our top priorities can help us act intentionally instead of reacting to every demand or distraction.

When priorities feel unclear, it helps to ask, “Does this align with what matters most to me?” Research from Developmental Psychology shows that aligning decisions with personal values increases well-being and long-term satisfaction. Pausing to reflect before saying yes to something can save time, energy, and emotional strain.

Patterns Reveal What Matters

Tracking how we spend our time and energy helps us spot what consistently feels rewarding versus draining. Awareness of these patterns allows us to focus on what truly contributes to growth, relationships, and fulfillment, rather than what just seems urgent in the moment.

Even as priorities shift with age, we can stay intentional about what matters most. And what's important today may not be years from now.

Let's make today count.

Respect

Respect is often framed as politeness or being nice; when in reality it's one of the hardest disciplines in business — and one of the most effective. Respect shows up before a deal is signed or a problem appears. It’s how we listen when someone disagrees. How we talk about people who aren’t in the room. And how we behave when pressure is high and patience is low. 

In my work with business owners and managers, one pattern is consistent: organizations that struggle to grow often struggle with respect. Not from bad intentions, but from underestimating its impact. Authority gets confused with credibility. Speed gets mistaken for effectiveness. Respect is assumed instead of earned. 

It Doesn't Just Happen 

Respect is built in small, repeatable moments – being prepared, showing up on time, answering clearly, giving credit, owning mistakes. These actions don’t draw attention, but they quietly shape culture. Respect must also flow both ways. 

Leaders who demand it without giving it create compliance, not commitment. Teams that feel respected think harder, solve problems sooner, and care more about outcomes. It also means being honest. Not blunt for ego’s sake, but clear to prevent confusion. 

Beat Them with Kindness

Ghosting may be the new “no” and a way to avoid difficult conversations. And most of us do it – intentionally or unintentionally . Avoiding tough conversations may feel right in the moment, but it usually creates bigger problems later.  In business, respect becomes a competitive advantage. 

Customers notice it. Partners remember it. Employees protect it. It turns transactions into long-term relationships and reduces friction before it becomes conflict. We don’t earn respect by demanding it. We earn it by practicing it – especially when it’s inconvenient. And once it’s part of how we operate, everything else gets easier to build. 

 I say with respect, of course. ____________________________________________________________

It's Business. It's Personal.

If you’ve spent any time around me in a boardroom or mid-conversation about growth, you know I believe one thing deeply: Business is personal. Not transactional. Not automated. Personal. I work with numerous business owners and managers across different industries. 

Some run multi-generational companies. Others are scaling fast and trying to manage growth without losing control. Different pressures. Different personalities. Same truth. The businesses that win are the ones that make it personal. 

 It’s Not Just Marketing. It’s About Meaning. 

Marketing is not an event or a campaign; it is an essential piece of your business. We can talk strategy, positioning, and ROI all day. But beneath that, we’re talking about legacy and the responsibility they carry. That’s personal. 

When you understand that, you stop selling services. You start building partnerships. 

You are the Brand 

Business owners often underestimate how much they matter to their marketing. People don’t just buy products. They buy stories. Trust. Connection. Why you started. What you believe. Why you care. That’s not fluff. That’s differentiation. And in a crowded market, differentiation is oxygen. 

AI, automation, and efficiency tools are everywhere. I like them. I use them. But you can automate distribution. You cannot automate connection. The businesses that thrive won’t be the loudest; they’ll be the most human. 

Actions Speak

How you treat staff. How you answer the phone. How you handle complaints. That is your brand. Culture leaks into the marketplace whether you plan for it or not. 

When I meet an owner, I ask: “Why did you start this?” The answer is almost never money. It’s family. Freedom. Pride. Impact. It's especially interesting when you pose the same question to their team. Then you find out what it means to work there far beyond the paycheck. People rarely do business with logos; they do business with people. 

And that will always be personal. ___________________________________________________________

A.I. + A.I.

We hear about AI everywhere. Chatbots, algorithms, self-driving cars – they’re changing the way we work, learn, and communicate. It’s impressive, sometimes a little intimidating, and often makes us wonder: if machines can think, what’s left for us? 

But here’s the thing – artificial intelligence can process data, predict patterns, and solve problems. Actual intelligence? That’s deeper. It’s curiosity, creativity, empathy, and the ability to connect the dots in ways no algorithm can.

The Limits of Machines

AI can crunch numbers, recognize faces, and even write essays. But it doesn’t feel. It doesn’t care about context the way we do. It doesn’t understand a joke, a story, or why a moment matters. Actual intelligence is messy, human, and unpredictable – but it’s also what makes innovation, leadership, and culture possible. Machines can assist, but they can’t replace insight, judgment, or intuition.

The future isn’t about choosing AI over us – it’s about how we use it. When artificial intelligence augments actual intelligence, we unlock new potential. We work smarter, not just harder. We ask better questions, notice patterns we might miss, and focus on the ideas that truly matter. 

Curiosity Over Automation

Our greatest advantage is our minds. Let’s stay curious, keep asking questions, and remember what makes us human. AI is powerful; actual intelligence, fueled by creativity, empathy, and awareness, is what shapes our world.

AI and AI are here to stay. The machines will get smarter and more intuitive. They are not fads and the bottle was crushed years ago. Use AI and AI as tools and allow your own input and thoughts to have a voice as well.

We live with machines; but life is built on us. ____________________________________________________________

Scrolling Through Life And Missing It

We live on our devices. Clips, viral videos, news alerts - they’re everywhere, and they grab our attention like magnets. Did we see that thing? Did we hear about that guy? 

Sometimes it feels like we’re keeping up with the world, but are we keeping up with ourselves? Hours slip by while we react, scroll, and double-tap, and the life happening right in front of us quietly passes by.

Missing Moments That Matter 

 Life isn’t a feed. The laughter around the table, the quiet moments at sunrise, the small gestures that mean the most - they aren’t trending, and they aren’t going viral. When we’re glued to our screens, we risk missing the very moments that make life rich. 

Relationships weaken, opportunities pass, and our own story gets lost among everyone else’s highlights. That doesn’t mean we ditch tech entirely. Devices are tools, not life itself. The trick is balance. Let’s take a walk, have a conversation, or just pause to notice what’s happening around us. Being present, opens doors: we see people, ideas, and moments we would have scrolled past. 

Finding Life Between the Notifications 

Ask questions, notice details, and truly listen. Life is happening, whether we’re looking at it or not. When we reconnect with our own world, the digital one becomes less distracting and more of a choice rather than a habit. We live on our devices - but life is happening for us, right now. 

 Let’s not miss it. ____

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Work + Love + Other Life Stuff

It’s often said we should find something we’re passionate about and do it. We'll cool let's do that! Now why are we unhappy again? Oh yeah, because we often have absolutely no idea what are truly passionate about and worse how to even achieve it.

In his book, “Love + Work”, author, speaker, and consultant Marcus Buckingham examines how our lives and our careers are forever intertwined. He writes finding something we love doesn't mean it's going to be nirvana all the time but rather we will find love within it and the challenges will be easier to overcome. Have you ever lost track of time doing something? Yeah that.

Buckingham also reminds us no one will ever be exactly the same as each of us. No one who has ever existed or will ever exist will be exactly like you. Celebrate that.

Perfection is impossible.

We live in woke times. Some have deemed themselves the grand jury of all opinion. Here's the deal, I won't judge you, you don't judge me, and we'll be good. You do stuff you will love most of the time and I'll do that same. I may love auto racing but I won't insult you if you have a passion for flower arranging. It's not my call!

No one has any right to tell you what you think or feel, nor does anyone have the right to tell you what or who you love. Life is not a zero-sum game to be won. As its own name defines, it is living breathing inaccurate flawed experience. Yet for some reason we measure ourselves against perfection.

This is your life. Tell her how you feel. Look for another line of work. Stop letting others decide for you. Love who you want, do what you want, don't let others tell you what's best for you. I'm not proclaiming I don't have that doubtful voice in my head most of the time which I wish would shut up, but let's see if we can shift our thinking together.

That might be a good plan. ____________________________________________________________

Ghost and the Machine

You’ve probably noticed it. It’s likely been happening since the dawn of time, but it feels like it’s ramped up in recent years. Many of us hoped the world would become kinder and gentler after Covid -  but in many ways, the opposite has happened.

Everyone’s “busy.” Everyone has too many priorities, too many choices. It’s become a comfortable excuse when we simply don’t want to do something.

My mom had a vivid phrase for when we went back on our word, she’d threaten to tan our hides. If you said you’d take the job and show up on time, you did exactly that.  

If you or anyone you know works in fast service, you’ve probably heard the stories - people not showing up for shifts. When I was a kid, that was unthinkable. You did what you said you were going to do.

Sorry, I’m Busy

Now to the big one: ghosting. You start a promising conversation with a potential client, things seem to go well - and then they vanish. No replies, no calls, no explanation. No one is that busy after the third or fourth follow-up. Maybe they hope you’ll give up - and often, that’s exactly what happens. But here’s the thing: it’s not about being busy; it’s about being respectful.

Difficult conversations are difficult. But if you’re too afraid to say no, don’t say yes or maybe in the first place. The old saying holds true - a fast no is far better than a slow maybe… and miles ahead of an unprofessional ghosting.

Leave a message after the beep. 

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What's For Dinner?

We've heard the old saying ‘starve a fever, feed a cold’. As leaders, what would happen if we applied that to our lives by feeding our passions and not giving any table scraps to our fears? Yes, easier said than done but worth a shot.

Some organizations, for all their efforts, become a dysfunctional environment. This is where I can help. Some don't want to be helped and it's best we leave them to their misery. Perhaps there is an underlying issue that needs to be put on a diet.

Often, much of what we may fear isn’t the big scary monster but simply something we haven’t tried or an instance where we need help from others or a bit more experience. We may have fear while others navigate it with ease and can help us. There will be times the roles are reversed but we need to starve our fears together.

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