Stay Out of the Shallow End

Some of our most memorable experiences are unplanned. Like the time I ran into a buddy from college with whom I hadn't seen in probably fifteen years. He had gotten married, had a daughter and twin boys. His business was doing well and he had just been awarded a customer contract that was pretty much going to set him up financially for the rest of his kids' lives. 

We had coffee and caught up. He had done all these things since our silly days of college but deep down he hadn't changed a bit. I was suddenly taking stock on how I didn't have millions and he suddenly said; "So, what was it like to meet all those rock stars years ago?" I didn't have a lifetime of money in the bank or three awesome kids. 

Look at you!

He went on to tell me about my accomplishments. My college friend wasn't comparing; he was sharing. He had humility toward his success and was more interested in mine. While I was comparing bank accounts like a shallow idiot. 

We all have a story to tell. You may not think you have much to share at a college reunion, but you have done some things others may remark on. It doesn't matter if you haven't been on the radio or built a multi-million dollar company. 

Zero-sum

There will always be people richer than us, slimmer than us, younger than us, and more "successful" than us. And there will be plenty who feel that way about us. My friend said it was no contest if he ever had to choose between his business and his family. No success was worth losing them.

If we can stop comparing for a moment and cherish what we have and have done, perhaps we won't focus on scarcity but rather abundance. It was great to see my old pal again and he taught me a lot that day. 

A look oudside can give us better perspective inside

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Me Myself and Them?

In grade school, we were new at the relationship thing, so we usually gravited to kids who shared our interests and were just like ourselves. As we grew older, we hung out with kids who liked what we like just like ourselves.

As we entered the workplace, we grabbed a drink with the people who seemed to be cool just like ourselves. As we built our careers, had grown up relationships, and even raised a family, we would spend our fleeting spare time talking and hanging out with old friends just like ourselves.

What do you think?

When we ask for opinions, it's easy to ask for input from people just like ourselves. The challenge is to break through those norms we have built since grade school and ask new opinions, fresh perspectives, and maybe even contradictive points of view.

I don't remember who said it, but the adage goes like this: when you're building your business, tell your friends and family all about it; get that out of your system; then get the real work of building your business. I'm not sure we should gloss over the first part. 

We spend our formative years with people just like ourselves and then we are told to be open to people who are not like ourselves. That might be wise counsel as long as we don't devalue our own opinions and thoughts.

Our opinion counts too.

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No Shame Required

If you got a call from a friend or loved one who asked you to help them as they had just broken their arm, what would you do? You would obviously drop what you were doing, drive to their location, and take them to the hospital.  

Here's another scenario. What would you do if that same friend or loved one called you to say they were having some emotional issues? Dr. Sangu Delle shares his story about a dear friend who needed his help. 

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Too Much Information?

We say it several times a day. We meet a client, see a friend, join a Zoom call, and the first thing we often say is; "How are you?" The reply is often;"I'm good, you?". And we move on. Why do we do that? Is it uncomfortable if someone said they were tired because their baby is sick or down because of their ailing father or upset due to their marriage having trouble?

I get there is a right time and place for personal stuff but without oversharing, how can we take that original salutation just an inch farther? I'm not suggesting fake compassion; I'm referring to the real stuff. Take just twenty seconds to see how someone is doing. You aren't there to solve their challenge but rather to simply be human. We're not robots and there might be much more going on if someone isn't "making their numbers".

Leave it at home

I am lucky to work in a company and with a team who does take a moment to see how you are really doing and let you know they actually see you as a person. It doesn't weaken relationships, it strengthens them.

I feel the core of teamwork is having each other's backsides not our own. Hopefully others feel the same way. If someone is missing deadlines or their work quality is waning, it's time for a check in and see if they are truly okay. Work is not a place to spend your time talking about your kids and home life all day. We are humans not robots and if we think people shouldn't bring their life to work, we may have another challenge.

They might stop bringing their work to life. 

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Happy Holidays

Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Frohe Weihnachten, Buon Natale, Feliz Natal, Crăciun Fericit, God Jul, Glædelig Jul, Hyvää Joulua, Gleðileg Jólm, Wesołych Świąt, Vrolijk Kerstfeest, Sretan Božić, Veselé Vánoce, Felicem Natalem Christi, Nollaig Shona 

Happy Christmas🎅

c

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Just Like Me

In grade school, we were new at the relationship thing, so we usually gravited to kids who shared our interests and were just like ourselves. As we grew older, we hung out with kids who liked what we like just like ourselves.

As we entered the workplace, we grabbed a drink with the people who seemed to be cool just like ourselves. As we built our careers, had grown up relationships, and even raised a family, we would spend our fleeting spare time talking and hanging out with old friends just like ourselves.

What do you think?

When we ask for opinions, it's easy to ask for input from people just like ourselves. The challenge is to break through those norms we have built since grade school and ask new opinions, fresh perspectives, and maybe even contradictive points of view.

I don't remember who said it, but the adage goes like this: when you're building your business, tell your friends and family all about it; get that out of your system; then get the real work of building your business. I'm not sure we should gloss over the first part. 

We spend our formative years with people just like ourselves and then we are told to be open to people who are not like ourselves. That might be wise counsel as long as we don't devalue our own opinions and thoughts.

Our opinion counts too.

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Bring the New Noise

It's with us constantly. Wear a mask. Keep your distance. Wash your hands. Stay at home. Don't watch that. Don't listen to that guy. That infringes on my rights. Oh we all need to shut up. 

My mom was born in 1937 and in her eight plus decades, she had seen it all but she hadn't seen a global pandemic in her 83 years but was just as vigilant about protocols until the day she passed in August. This is a woman who lived through the last world war, raised two kids on very little money, and sometimes worked three jobs. I think we can watch out for the other guy and stop our whining.

Our pampered whining needs to stop. Right now. 

It may take another year to vaccinate enough people for this virus to be conquered and we need to gather up a heaping helping of perspective and put the damn mask back on.

It sucks that we have to stay home and keep our distance and do work remotely and missing hugging our friends and not be able to attend concerts and take our honey out for a nice restaurant meal. Call a friend. Turn off the news. Watch something funny. Have a laugh. Make a delicious meal. And tell those you love that you love them every day. 

We don't know how this all turns out. I've had two covid tests so far and so far I'm clear. But millions have died and millions more will die. So wearing a mask seems to be a small price for the ability to miss the things we want to do when this pandemic is over.  

The alternative is much worse. __________________________________________________________________

Real Evidence Appearing False

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are. You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

If you believe in any of these, feel free to stop.
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Believing Falsehoods

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.

You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

Do you believe any of these? If so, feel free to stop.
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Grateful

It's often said when you're stuck or feel down, helping someone less fortunate can be the biggest gift for both of you. No matter your religion or cultural background, there are points in your life when you have felt beaten down and sad.

Those are the times to take out a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the things that are going well. You may not think it's a long list but if you let your mind go, be kind to you, and think deep, you will find it. And it might just change your life.

Here's my list for today.

I am grateful for my health and for my loving family.
I am grateful for wonderful friends who are family and for food in my belly.

I am grateful for the ability to help others and for collaboration.
I am grateful for a vast network of people to explore new and exciting ideas.

I am grateful for chocolate. and or all of my senses and physical abilities.

I am grateful for music and for the ability to live in a cool town.
I am grateful for a charmed life and for creativity.

I am grateful for the desire and chance to do something bigger than me.
I am grateful for a great home and for freedom.

I am grateful for my passion for cooking and for learning my lesson.

I am grateful for a remarkable group of colleagues around the world.
I am grateful for curiosity. I am grateful for sharing and for coffee.

I am grateful for being able to give back and for perspective.
I am grateful for possibilities and for the ability to share this with you.

I am grateful for the blessing of a clever mind and for compassion.

Now it's your turn.
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Calendars and Reflections

I'm not sure about you, but I get reflective this time of year. I know we can make plans in April and course correct ideas in August, but it's the end of a year and it's as good a time as any to take stalk and get clear. 2017 was a year for confusing elections, technological advances, straight talk about harrassment, and all the events in each of our lives.

As we look back on the year that has almost passed, let’s reflect on the most important element of our lives – our relationships with each other. Money comes and goes; jobs and homes change, but nothing can replace the important people in our lives, love, home, and family. For me, this was a year of challenges, successes, strong career work, and spending time with people I love.

Cheers to you and yours!
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People Are Human Too

Leadership is the small things wrapped up in the big things. Leaders often manage the chaos so new ideas can be allowed to grow even when they may not seem like good ones at first. And thanking employees for their ideas and work is critical.

Employees get paid, they show up every day, they have bills to pay. If that’s all that’s going on, then you’re managing a transaction. If you can engage and encourage, you build a company. If you embrace the fact employees have lives too but want to bring their lives to work so they can bring their work to life, you create the seeds of a collaborative culture.

More Than a Paycheck

We work a lot throughout our lifetime and many companies are now expecting you to answer email on your smartphone on Sunday afternoons, in the evenings, give up family time, and sacrifice your space to give more to them. Balance isn’t just a handy word to use, it’s important to put into practice. And it begins when leaders consistently recognize employees' efforts with action.

You may think this is only possible in larger companies or specific sectors. Well, I’ve been fortunate to work with Fortune 50 organizations, large companies, medium to small businesses, and start-ups in a myriad industries. It can work in all of them.

Say thank you often.
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Six False Beliefs

These have been published in numerous psychology articles and on various websites over the years and are worth considering when we're facing life's issues.

Unwanted moments are to be avoided at all costs. You are only as valuable, or worthless, as other people agree that you are.

You are responsible for the happiness or unhappiness that others feel. You must learn to tolerate friends and family who have agreed to live with and justify negative states.

You can change what happened yesterday by revisiting and reliving it today. Feeling deeply stressed proves you really care about whatever you’re suffering over.

Don't listen to the false beliefs.
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2016 – Year in Review

Most of us get reflective this time of year as humans have probably gotten since the advent of our calendar. We compartmentalize our time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. We probably should look closer at moments than the traditional increments of time but the year is ending and we look back at 12 months' of our lives and take stock.

In entertainment, 2016 began with the passing of one of my favorite artists, David Bowie. We ended with the deaths of far too many musicians, actors, writers, producers, artists, leaders, and perhaps that's the same every year, but this year seemed to be more.

Count the Votes

Brexit marked Great Britain's separation from the European Union and the US elected a new President amid a mountain of controversy. Personally, I launched into a new line of work that was the culmination of my entire career and as I was leaving the team Holiday dinner last week, I felt the tug of pride to be a part of a great team again.

We lost people, gained experience, suffered losses, realized dreams, and all the while, hopefully ensured what was truly important received more of our time and attention. For me, it's people and always will be people. I am so fortunate to have wonderful people in my life that make all the struggles and downturns worth it. Someone is always a phone call or hug away. And I hope the same for you.

Namaste.
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How Dare You Talk to You Like That!

We all experience them. Those moments when we beat ourselves up. The presentation wasn't perfect, you didn't get the promotion, the relationship didn't work out, the list goes on. Here's something to try; the next time you are talking crap about yourself to yourself, remove your name and add a friend's name and see how comfortable that feels.

There is no way in a hundred lifetimes you would speak to others in the same negative way you speak to yourself. I'm an Olympic gold medalist in beating myself up and let me assure you, it solves nothing.

Try this...

Every time you feel the urge to put yourself down, stop, then force yourself to think of something you are grateful for in your life. It may sound Pollyanna, too bad. You won't do it well the first few times, keep trying.

Or you could try the strategy of talking to others the way you talk to yourself. That's if your plan is to lose friends and people you care about.

Your call.
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Asking and Listening

We admire those who seem crystal clear on their calling, their goals, and their passions. Most of us perhaps just think we are clear. But it can be tough when mortgages and car payments and our myriad responsibilities can crush our day. Corporations often compensate people for being agreeable and not making a fuss.

To get clear, I think we need to stop thinking the answer is one crisp well-crafted sentence. We can get clear by deciding what we don't want to do, who we may want to avoid, who could be a good fit, and how we want to spend the rest of our lives.

Here's an idea; let's reach out to two people tomorrow who will help us and tell us the truth and have that open conversation. Share that big idea you have, get some feedback, and ask them for one idea that may push it forward. Saying no is easy, finding out how is where the work resides.

Let’s be open for real answers.
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Happy Christmas

Feliz Navidad. Selamat Hari Natal. Joyeux Noël. Gleðileg jól. Nollaig Shona.
Wesołych Świąt. Fröhliche Weihnachten. Merry Christmas. Vrolijk Kerstfeest.
Hyvää Joulua. Buon Natale. Feliz Natal. Boldog Karácsonyt. Namaste.





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Credits: Walt Disney, Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Marilyn Manson, Sting, Brian Sezter, Dropkick Murphys

Speaking Our Truth

If you’ve done any reading on topics of self-improvement, Tarot, or the Buddha, you know about the importance of speaking your truth. Sure, sounds good, I’ll get right on that. But what does it mean?

I’m going through a program right now that has enlightened and shocked me on this whole topic. It’s exciting and scary, remarkable and uncomfortable. What the hell does it mean to speak your truth?

Eureka!

This is at our core, deep down past the conscious mind where that unseen bullseye resides. One of my colleagues said that healing is not unpainful and she was absolutely right. It’s tough to reprogram our behavior to align with what we feel is right and what we deeply want in our lives.

Speaking our truth can be messy. There will be causalities; most of which are truths you’ve told about yourself your entire life. I’m a helpful person, I love others unconditionally, I enjoy being creative. Speaking your truth is deeper than that. It began before we were born. We have spent our life defining our truths aligned with what our parent taught us, what our teachers told us, and what our family showed us.

That’s it!

It hit me on a phone call over the weekend, mid-sentence, I found myself falling into my self-imposed traps of guilt and excuses. I had plans, I couldn’t change them for the request that was asked of me on the call and I said no. It was like a knife in my throat. How could I say no?! Well, I found the strength to do so.

But I let that guilt ride with me for a few more miles. I felt bad I didn’t drop my plans to help them. No! This isn’t about dishonouring others for your benefit; it’s about understanding who you are and being okay with healthy boundaries and a healthy relationship with yourself.

The toughest part about speaking our truth is letting go of the truths that we feel have defined us. When we do that, something profound happens.

Our truth speaks to us.
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As a passionate leader, Kneale Mann has extensive experience in project management, leadership development, business, marketing, media, and talent coaching in numerous industries and organizations including; radio, digital marketing, corporate training, real estate, financial services, healthcare and more. He is always open to meeting companies and organizations who want to become even greater.

Relationships Take Work not Labor

It’s Labor Day in North America, the day when most people take the day to breathe before the busy fall hits and kids go back to school and the stuff we pushed away all summer become realities again.

As we reflect on the summer that has almost passed and the upcoming fall, let’s reflect on the most important element of our lives – our relationships with each other. Money comes and goes. Jobs and homes change. But nothing can replace the important people in our lives in love, home, family, and work.

Cheers!
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit
New Book out in 2016 – Details soon!

Are You Happy?

I’ve mentioned it a few times here that I’ve gone through a lot in the last 18 months but when I step back it gives me perspective that what I’ve experienced is child’s play compared to what others have endured. I have a close friend who often says; don’t compare, but our personal experience is often our most vivid perspective.

We fear losing our income; we stay in stagnant relationships because of money; we settle for good enough, and there's so much more we could do with our lives that isn't attached to wealth or stature.

Who are these people?

What is it about a small close-knit group of people living into their 10th decade on a small Island in Japan or a man who rides his bicycle into town to make a few dollars a day running a rickshaw to return to the tent city where his son greets him with a big smile and gives him joy?

American film maker Roko Belic set out to find what makes humans happy and the result was his 2011 Academy Award nominated documentary entitled Happy. I finally watched it as it’s now available on Netflix.

It's fantastic!


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit